Smith ScholarWorks Smith ScholarWorks
Theses, Dissertations, and Projects
2014
Responding to infant sleep-related crying : a theoretical Responding to infant sleep-related crying : a theoretical
exploration of caregiver response from attachment and object exploration of caregiver response from attachment and object
relations perspectives relations perspectives
Casey L. Zandoná
Smith College
Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.smith.edu/theses
Part of the Social and Behavioral Sciences Commons
Recommended Citation Recommended Citation
Zandoná, Casey L., "Responding to infant sleep-related crying : a theoretical exploration of caregiver
response from attachment and object relations perspectives" (2014). Masters Thesis, Smith College,
Northampton, MA.
https://scholarworks.smith.edu/theses/840
This Masters Thesis has been accepted for inclusion in Theses, Dissertations, and Projects by an authorized
administrator of Smith ScholarWorks. For more information, please contact [email protected].
Casey Loughran Zandona
Responding to Infant Sleep-Related
Crying: A Theoretical Exploration of
Caregiver Response from
Attachment and Object Relations
Perspectives
ABSTRACT
How to respond to infant sleep-related crying is a ripe debate in much of the current
parenting literature. This theoretical thesis explores how certain caregiver responses affect
infants’ psychological development. Particular attention is paid to the popular sleep-training
technique—letting a baby “Cry It Out”—as there is an alarming lack of consideration within
empirical and theoretical literature of the psychological impact of this parenting strategy on an
infant. This thesis begins with an overview of current empirical research on infant sleep and
crying behavior, and proceeds to include an in-depth look at attachment and object relations
(mostly Winnicottian) theories, specifically in respect to how caregiver and infant negotiate
sleep, infant crying, the process of separation, and the intrapsychic development of self and
other. Intersubjective theory is integrated into much of the discussion, as it brings the
subjectivity of the caregiver into view, which is really at the core of parenting decisions. At the
end of the thesis, there is a broader consideration of the complex impact of the sociocultural
surround on parenting decisions, as well as how the perspectives proposed within the thesis
apply to clinical practice. This thesis does not ultimately provide an answer to the question of
whether it is advisable to let an infant cry it out. Instead, it highlights the importance of an
attuned, enduring, and appropriately responsive caregiver in the facilitation of an infant’s
psychological development, and how that is “good enough.”
RESPONDING TO INFANT SLEEP-RELATED CRYING:
A THEORETICAL EXPLORATION OF CAREGIVER RESPONSE FROM
ATTACHMENT AND OBJECT RELATIONS PERSPECTIVES
A project based upon independent investigation,
submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements
for a degree in of Master in Social Work
Casey Loughran Zandona
Smith College School for Social Work
Northampton, Massachusetts 01063
2014
ii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I would first like to thank my husband—André—for his endless love and support, and for
muddling through this process with me. I would also like to thank my parents for their
inspirational love of this field and for always believing in me. I am particularly grateful for my
previous therapists, especially Steven Elig, who provided me with good object experiences to
carry with me while writing this thesis. I would like to give a very special thanks to my dog
Samba for laying beside me while writing this thesis, making himself available for snuggles, and
continuously reminding me that I have at least one good attachment in my life. And finally, I am
extremely grateful for my thesis advisor—Stacey Novak—for being excited about this topic with
me, for providing an excellent holding environment, and for enabling the completion of this
thesis.
iii
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ...................................................................................................... ii
TABLE OF CONTENTS .......................................................................................................... iii
CHAPTER
I INTRODUCTION ............................................................................................................ 1
II PHENOMENON .............................................................................................................. 5
III ATTACHMENT THEORY ............................................................................................. 22
IV OBJECT RELATIONS THEORY ................................................................................... 49
V DISCUSSION ................................................................................................................... 65
REFERENCES ......................................................................................................................... 91
1
CHAPTER I
Introduction
This thesis will explore how caregiver response to infant sleep-related crying potentially
impacts an infant’s psychological development. This phenomenon will be considered from the
perspectives of attachment and object relations theories. These theories were chosen because
they both hold the early infant/caregiver relationship as central to one’s psychological
development. The application of these theories to the phenomenon will hopefully lend valuable
insights into sleep training techniques and clinical approaches to psychodynamic psychotherapy.
The sleep training technique of focus will be letting a baby “cry it out” (CIO), which is
defined in current literature as “extinction of sleep-related crying through systematic parental
nonresponsiveness in order to teach the children how to sleep independently” (Ramos et al., 2006).
This technique was chosen because the CIO strategy is most commonly recommended by family
and friends (Sears & Sears, 2003), parenting literature (Ramos & Youngclarke, 2006), and
pediatricians (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2012) in the United States.
The theoretical exploration of this phenomenon is warranted because there is a startling
lack of empirical research on or psychoanalytic thinking about how sleep-training techniques
impact an infant’s psychological development. A review of the authorship of parenting literature
reflects this substantial omission. Ramos & Youngeclark (2006) found that 43% of parenting
book authors lacked professional credentials, 40% were from medical backgrounds, and only
15% were trained in clinical psychology or counseling. This is especially concerning since 96%
2
a sample of 700 pediatricians nationwide “believed it was their job to counsel patients/guardians
regarding sleep hygiene, yet few pediatricians (18%) had ever received formal training on sleep
disorders” (Faruqui, Khubchandani, Price, Bolyard, & Reddy, 2011, p. 539). In fact, “residents
[only] received 4.8 hours of instruction on sleep and sleep disorders” while in medical school
(Faruqui et al., 2011, p. 540). Also, less than 5% of pediatric residency programs dedicated more
than 4 hours of instruction to sleep medicine (p. 540). This suggests a dangerous lack of
clinically informed and evidence-based information behind sleep training advice parents receive.
It is also surprising that the impact of sleep-training techniques on infant development
has not been explored within psychoanalytic literature. Much of psychoanalytic thinking
explores the physical and intrapsychic separation from the other, and sleep is a prime location of
separation between infant and caregiver. Psychoanalytic theorists have proposed
conceptualizations about how certain caregiver responses impact an infant’s development, but
further exploration into the specific effect of caregiver non-response, or caregiver absence, is
warranted.
Application to Social Work
Having a greater understanding of how a caregiver response to infant sleep-related crying
impacts the development of attachment and object relations can lend valuable insights into the
field of social work. It can lead to a more intricate understanding of the clinician’s provision of
maternal functions (attunement, holding, containment, object relations) within the therapeutic
encounter. It can also inform clinician’s biopsychosocial assessments, formulations, treatment
planning, and clinical interventions. Ultimately, the discussion within this thesis will hopefully
assist caregivers with their parenting decisions, and clinicians in how to support their clients who
are caregivers to facilitate of their infants’ development.
3
Methodology
This thesis will first provide an overview of the phenomenon—the scope of sleep-training
recommendations, the nature of infant sleep patterns and crying behavior, a detailed description
of the CIO method, and a broader consideration of the sociocultural impact on the phenomenon.
The following two chapters will discuss attachment and object relations theories. The thesis will
conclude with a discussion chapter that synthesizes all of the material presented and provide
implications for clinical interventions. The concepts discussed within the theoretical chapters are
as follows.
Attachment Theory
The attachment theory chapter will begin with the theories put forth by John Bowlby and
Mary Ainsworth. These theorists lay the foundation of attachment theory by illuminating the
importance of the attachment bond in the infant’s behavioral functioning and psychological
development, as well as by developing the timeless categories of attachment patterns. The
exploration into the intrapsychic process of separation/individuation will then be discussed
within the theories proposed by Margaret Mahler, as well as from the intersubjective perspective
as introduced by contemporary attachment theorists such as Daniel Stern and Beatrice Beebe.
Specific topics of interest will include the intrapsychic development of self and other, the
attainment of self-regulatory capacities, and the process of internal and external separation from
the other.
Object Relations Theory
The object relations theory chapter will mainly focus on the work of Donald Winnicott
because his work focuses on the nature of the mother/infant relationship. Winnicott outlines
specific ways in which the mother facilitates the infant’s intrapsychic development by
4
introducing seminal concepts such as the “good-enough mother,” the holding environment, and
transitional phenomenon (Winnicott, 1951). The negotiation of hate within mother/infant
relationship and the use of the object will also be explored, as that is central to how a caregiver
responds to an infant’s sleep-related cries. A discussion of contemporary Winnicottian theories,
as proposed by Jessica Benjamin, will draw light upon the mother’s subjectivity and how the
mother negotiates the intersubjective process of separating from her infant.
Conclusion
The application of attachment and object relations theories to the phenomenon will
hopefully lend insights into how a caregiver’s response (or lack thereof) to an infant’s sleep-
related cries impacts the infant’s psychological development. The intent of this thesis is to spark
interest and hopefully inspire a greater discussion into this topic.
It is of note that the language used within this thesis varies. Psychoanalytic literature
traditionally talks about the infant/caregiver dyad in terms of infants and mothers. In recent
years, there has been contemporary focus on primary caregivers of all gender identities. Since
this thesis is relevant to all types of dyadic caregiver/infant relationships, this writer will utilize
the term “caregiver” and a more fluid use of pronouns in general discussion, but will utilize the
term “mother” to remain consistent with the language used in earlier literature.
And without further ado, onto the phenomenon chapter.
! !
5
!
!
CHAPTER II
Phenomenon
!
Caregivers throughout time have tried to figure out the best way to soothe babies in
distress. Of particular interest has been how to respond to a baby’s sleep-related crying. This
chapter will explore the phenomenon of caregiver response to infant sleep-related crying. The
popular parenting literature related to this topic will be explored in order to identify the current
cultural norms and expectations related to how parents respond to infant’s cries. Particular
attention will be given to the sleep training technique of letting a baby “cry it out” (Ferber, 2006)
because this method is most commonly recommended within Western cultures by family and
friends (Sears & Sears, 2003), in parenting literature (Ramos & Youngclarke, 2006), and is
pediatricians’ standard recommendation for improving infant sleep problems (American
Academy of Pediatrics [AAP], 2012). Attention will be given to the startling lack of
consideration within research for the potential impact of the CIO technique on the infant’s
psychological development and attachment relationships.!
In order to gain a comprehensive understanding of the phenomenon, this chapter will
begin by presenting the scope of parenting recommendations within literature and popular
opinion. Next, infant sleep patterns and crying behavior will be explored from biological,
evolutionary, and psychological perspectives, followed by a detailed description of the “cry it out”
method. And finally, these techniques will be considered within a broader cultural context in
which drastic differences in parenting strategies between cultures are illuminated.!
6
Description of the Phenomenon!
Overview of Sleep Training Advice!
Letting a baby “cry it out” is the predominant recommendation caregivers receive about
how to respond to their baby’s sleep-related crying. Ramos et al. (2006) conducted a meta-
analysis exploring the advice parenting books give about sleep training techniques. They
sampled from all of the books on Amazon that matched the search “parenting, sleep,” emulating
a common way in which caregivers obtain parenting advice. The analysis concluded that 61% of
the books endorsed the CIO technique. This is somewhat concerning because upon review of the
authorship of these books, Ramos et al. found that only 15% of the authors had a background in
clinical psychology or counseling. In fact, 40% of the authors were from a medical background
and 43% had no professional credentials (the majority were journalists and some from
companies that produce baby products). In addition, 73% of these authors had never published
in academic literature. Ramos et al.’s study suggests that the majority of sleep training advice is
not informed by how the recommended techniques could potentially impact a child’s
psychological development. Understanding what informs the recommendations caregivers
receive warrants further exploration, as early infant/caregiver interactions have been shown to be
associated with the child’s later development and well-being (Blatt & Levy, 2003; Bowlby,
1969; Bowlby, 1977; Sroufe, 2005; Sroufe, Egeland, Carlson, & Collins, 2005; Weinfield,
Whaley, & Egeland, 2004).!
Medical professionals are also a common resource for parenting advice, and they too
endorse the CIO technique. The American Academy of Pediatrics (2012) recommends
“controlled comforting” and “camping out,” which are sleep training techniques that involve
systematic non-responsiveness to infant’s nighttime crying. These techniques are in line with the
7
definition of CIO; parents wait to respond to their baby’s nighttime wakening “at increasing
intervals to allow the child to self-settle” or to “independently fall asleep” (AAP, 2012). The
American Academy of Pediatrics asserts that this approach improves the caregiver’s sleep and
the mother’s mental health. Again, the child’s mental health is not considered.!
A study conducted by Faruqui, Khubchandani, Price, Bolyard, & Reddy (2011) draws
into question the validity of pediatricians’ recommendations about sleep training. They surveyed
a random sample of 700 pediatricians nationwide and found that 96% of the sample “indicated
that they believed it was their job to counsel patients/guardians regarding sleep hygiene, yet few
pediatricians (18%) had ever received formal training on sleep disorders" (p. 539). In fact,
“residents [only] received 4.8 hours of instruction on sleep and sleep disorders” while in medical
school (p. 540). The study also found that less than 5% of pediatric residency programs
dedicated more than 4 hours of instruction to sleep medicine (p. 540). This suggests a dangerous
lack of clinically informed and evidence-based information behind sleep training advice parents
receive.!
Interestingly, the CIO technique has been recommended in literature since the early
1900s. Dr. Emmet Holt, (1907) who was a professor at Columbia University, published a book
in 1907 on how to care for young children. He recommended that mothers eliminate crying
behaviors at nighttime by letting their babies “cry it out,” stating that this could result in up to
three hours of unattended crying at first. He reasons that such crying is a product indulgence, or
excessive attention from the caregiver, from which a baby becomes habituated. This rationale
can be likened to the contemporary notion that attending to crying behavior “spoils” the baby or
creates inappropriate sleep associations (Ferber, 2006). The fact that Dr. Holt recommended the
CIO technique over 100 years ago evidences the prevalence and consistency in sleep training
8
advice, and speaks to the timeless demand for recommendations on how to respond to a baby’s
sleep-related crying.!
Infant Sleep!
Sleep is essential for an infant’s development. It functions to restore brain metabolism
and promote “memory consolidation and learning” (Jenni & O’Connor, 2005, p. 205), and
impacts an infant’s “higher-level cognitive functions regulated by the prefrontal cortex, such as
cognitive flexibility and the ability to reason and think abstractly” (Mindell, Kuhn, Lewin,
Meltzer, & Sadeh, 2006, p. 1265). When sleep is interrupted, an infant experiences “significant
performance impairments and mood dysfunction” (Mindell et al., 2006, p. 1265).
Since it is imperative that children obtain a sufficient amount of sleep, it is helpful to
understand what influences infants’ sleep patterns in order to promote this developmental
process. In part, an infant’s ability to “sleep through the night” relies on the “maturation of
neural and circadian mechanisms” (Mindell et al., 2006, p. 1265). This process develops at
different paces for each infant and results in what is known as a “circadian clock” (Jenni et al.,
2005, p. 205). Since caregivers’ and infants’ sleep cycles are different (infants’ circadian
rhythms have not matured into the typical adult 24-hour cycle) until at least the first year of life
(Mindell et al., 2006), it is inherently difficult for a caregiver to negotiate how to meet both her
needs (for adequate sleep) and those of her infant.!
Other biological and environmental influences on infant’s sleep-related behaviors include
practicing novel behaviors associated with major developmental milestones (Davies, 2011),
changing sleeping rooms (Nagera, 1966), sleeping arrangements (Mindell et al., 2006),
separation anxiety (Davies, 2011), parenting styles (Mindell et al., 2006), a baby’s temperament
(Burnham, Goodlin-Jones, Gaylor, & Anders, 2002), and biological abnormalities such as
9
asphyxiation (Ucko, 1965). These factors impact the quality of a baby’s sleep and his or her
ability to self-soothe.
One example of how biological factors impact an infant’s sleep patterns is seen in
research conducted by Ucko (1965). This was a five-year longitudinal study with a sample of 58
boys (29 asphyxiated at birth with no other abnormalities and 29 non-asphyxiated controls).
Ucko found that children with asphyxiation were more sensitive, over-reactive, had more sleep
disturbance, and exhibited higher levels of distress upon separation with the caregiver when
compared to controls. This study highlights how biological factors influence a child’s ability to
sleep and capacity for self-regulation. If a child has a lower tolerance for distress and is less
capable of soothing herself, a caregiver’s response to that child’s sleep-related crying should be
different than to a child without such condition.
Another influence on an infant’s sleep is the amount of physical contact with his or her
caregiver. Research by Moore and Ucko (1957) found that contact with mother, outside of
breastfeeding, is necessary for the establishment of an infant’s appropriate sleep rhythms. In this
study, infants who received the least amount of contact from their mother were more likely to
wake during the night. Those that received ten to twenty minutes of additional contact displayed
the lowest amount of problematic sleeping behavior. This shows how a caregiver plays an
essential role in the development of infant sleep patterns.
The way one defines “problematic” or “abnormal” sleep patterns influences the way one
responds to an infant’s sleep-related behaviors (i.e., crying). There are many ways in which
“sleep problems” are defined. From a clinical perspective, sleep problems are defined as an
infant waking at night and relying on parental presence to fall asleep and/or an infant exhibiting
“bedtime refusal behaviors,” such as “stalling, verbal protests, crying, clinging, refusing to go to
10
bed, getting out of bed, attention-seeking behaviors, and multiple requests for food, drinks, and
stories” (Mindell et al., 2006, p. 1264). From a research perspective, sleep is normally
operationalized by frequency and duration of behaviors. For instance, in a study by Reid, Walter,
and O’Leary (1999), sleep problems are operationalized as an infant taking longer than 30
minutes to fall asleep and not waking throughout the night. Also, each culture defines sleep
problems differently. Mindell et al. (2006) captures this point eloquently:
Culturally-based values and beliefs regarding the meaning, importance, and role of sleep
in daily life, as well as culturally-based differences in sleep practices (e.g., sleeping space
and environment, solitary sleep vs. co-sleeping, use of transitional objects) have a
profound effect not only on how a parent defines a sleep “problem” but on the relative
acceptability of various treatment strategies. (p. 1264)
Ultimately, one’s sociocultural surround predicts the way one defines normal or deviant sleep
behaviors, and thus the way one responds to an infant’s sleep-related crying.
Infant Crying!
Infant crying can take on many shapes and forms and can have many meanings. There is
the basic, rhythmical cry (often related to hunger), the mad cry, the pain cry, and the protest cry
(Wolff, 1969). An infant may cry out of hunger, sudden excessive excitation, unpleasant
stimulation, physical pain, nakedness/cold, or sleep disruption (Wolff, 1969). Understanding
the nature of infant crying from physiological, psychological, and evolutionary perspectives may
provide useful information about how a caregiver should respond to an infant’s cries. !
Psychologists have described crying as a “proximity-maintaining behaviour” (Bowlby,
1969, p. 199) and an “attachment behaviour” (Bowlby, 1969, p. 224). In essence, these terms
indicate that crying is an instinctual behavior that functions to increase the proximity of the
11
caregiver and enhance the attachment relationship. Bowlby (1969) explains, “the function of
attachment behaviour is protection from predators… it affords the opportunity for the infant to
learn from mother various activities necessary for survival” (p. 224), making it evolutionarily
advantageous for a mother to remain in close proximity to her infant. Crying is thus an
evolutionarily adaptive way by which an infant elicits a maternal response to be close and meet
the infant’s needs. !
It is advantageous for a caregiver to reduce the amount of her infant’s crying because
excessive crying can be harmful to the infant’s development. When crying, the infant enters a
state of distress and his energy is diverted away from essential growth-promoting
activities. When an infant is quiet and alert, he is “more receptive to interaction with and
learning from his environment,” which “promotes an inner organization that allows the
physiological systems of the body to work better” (Sears et al., 2003, p. 14). As Nagera (1966)
states, “the mother acts as an organizer and stimulator of maturational processes (of a
physiological and psychological nature) which steer development into appropriate channels.”
Thus, an essential role of the caregiver is to decrease the infant’s level of distress in order to
support the infant’s natural development. This includes the caregiver intervening to reduce
distress around sleep time, because sleep is an essential process for the infant’s neurological
development (discussed above).!
A study by Ainsworth and Bell (1977) outlines what types of caregiver responses are
most effective in reducing the infant’s level of distress and simultaneously infant crying. They
found that close contact, feeding, and promptness of the caregiver’s response to her baby’s cries
were most effective in decreasing infant crying. They also observed that a mother talking
without touching her infant was the least effective way to decrease infant crying. Thus, in
12
combination with the information discussed above, these findings indicate that it is essential to
an infant’s development and survival for a caregiver to promptly respond to an infant’s crying by
feeding or touching the infant. This conclusion directly conflicts with the CIO strategy in which
a caregiver is instructed to systematically ignore infant crying. This conflict will be explored in
greater detail below.!
Infant Sleep-Related Crying!
The interaction between infant sleep and infant crying is an incredibly unique and
complex phenomenon. There are a multitude of physiological and psychological factors that
influence infant sleep-related crying, and those inform decisions about how one would respond.
An example of the interaction between infant sleep and infant crying is seen when an
infant experiences separation anxiety. During this phase of development, an infant reacts to
separation from her caregiver with “frightened expressions, withdrawal, or distress” (Davies,
2011, p. 152). Since sleep is a primary location of separation, an infant experiences greater
distress around sleep times, increased sleep disruptions (Davies, 2011), and increased sleep-
related crying (Sears et al., 2003). Understanding the psychology behind the increased incidence
of sleep-related crying equips caregivers to optimally respond to her infant’s needs. !
Some hypothesize that infant sleep-related crying is a result of an infant’s inability to
self-soothe or self-regulate. If an infant’s emotions are deregulated (as is the case when
experiencing separation anxiety), crying will prevent her from falling asleep. At this point, the
infant is dependent on the caregiver for soothing because the capacity to self-soothe is not
inherent (Burnham et al., 2002). If a caregiver provides “an external structure of regulation by
responding appropriately to the infant,” the infant’s “stress response system (HPA axis)…
gradually becomes less active and more organized” (Davies, 2011, p. 137). It is only through
13
this mutual regulation that self-regulation is possible. “The parent’s response to the baby’s
distress provides the scaffolding that enables the baby to work on calming herself” (Davies, 2011,
p. 137). Without appropriate caregiver response to an infant’s distress signals (crying), an
infant’s HPA axis remains active and disorganized and she is unable to soothe herself to sleep. !
The knowledge of infant sleep and crying discussed thus far shows that sleep-related
crying is an instinctual mechanism by which an infant communicates her needs. Because an
infant’s capacity to understand and navigate both her internal and external world is
underdeveloped, she is dependent on her caregiver to satisfy her basic needs. Sleep is a primary
location where crying occurs because there are many psychological and biological reasons for
sleep pattern disturbance and thus increased emotional deregulation. Since sleep is required for
optimal development and infants do not have the capacity to self-regulate, the caregiver is
enlisted by the infant to support the infant’s sleep by serving as a regulatory other. The optimal
way in which a caregiver can provide this regulatory function is to promptly increase proximity
to and touch the infant (Ainsworth et al., 1977).!
“Cry it Out” Technique!
Dr. Richard Ferber is commonly regarded as the pioneer of the CIO technique. In
addition to being a pediatrician, he is an associate professor at the Harvard Medical School and
directs the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children’s Hospital Boston. He is famous for
his book Solve your Child’s Sleep Problems (2006) that outlines his recommendations about
how parents should respond to their infant’s sleep-related crying. It is of note that in the second
edition of his book, he aims to disassociate himself with the term “cry it out… simply leaving a
child in a crib to cry for long periods alone until he falls asleep, no matter how long it takes, is
not an approach I approve of” (p. xviii). He defines CIO as “abruptly… staying out of [the
14
baby’s] room all night” (p. 83). This disclaimer is a response to the criticism the CIO technique
has received (Sears et al., 2003). Instead, Ferber offers the Progressive-Waiting Approach
(PWA) that involves progressively waiting to respond to the baby’s crying in order to “rapidly
reduce and ultimately eliminate “unnecessary crying” (p. xviii). !
This thesis defines the CIO approach as the “extinction of sleep-related crying through
systematic parental nonresponsiveness in order to teach the children how to sleep independently”
(Ramos et al., 2006). Ferber’s PWA falls under this definition. Progressively waiting to respond
to a baby’s cry is “systemic parental nonresponsiveness,” and the goal of both the CIO and PWA
techniques is the “extinction of sleep-related crying” in order to “teach the children how to sleep
independently.” Thus, this thesis will continue to regard Ferber as endorsing the CIO approach.!
Ferber (2006) recommends that parents should begin to “institute major changes” in their
infant’s sleep habits when the infant is around 3 to 4 months of age (p. 97). He reasons that an
infant’s sleep cycle has matured at that point, and he should be capable of independently falling
asleep and sleeping through the night. This contradicts with research findings on infant
biological development; an infant’s circadian rhythm has not matured by 4 months of age,
making it impossible for the infant to sleep through the night (Nagera, 1966). The “major
changes” Ferber’s recommendations include the mother not responding to her baby’s nighttime
crying with physical touch, or sustained physical presence. He outlines how to do this in the
Progressive-Waiting Approach (PWA). !
Progressive-Waiting Approach!
Ferber’s PWA entails a mother waiting to respond to her baby’s nighttime wakings at
progressive intervals. On the first night, the mother waits 3 minutes to respond to the first cry, 5
minutes for the second cry, and 10 minutes for each subsequent cry (or intervals that mirror this
15
temporal increment). Time is added to these wait times every night until the baby stops
crying. By the seventh night, the mother could be waiting 30 minutes to respond to her baby’s
cries. This approach promises that the baby will most likely be sleeping independently through
the night within three to four nights (Ferber, 2006). !
The caregiver using the PWA is not to respond to her baby’s cries with touch or sustained
physical presence. Ferber (2006) would label such responses as inappropriate “sleep
associations” whereby the baby learns that he or she can only fall asleep with the mother’s
assistance (p. 62). This conflicts with the PWA’s ultimate goal of the baby sleeping
independently. Ferber states that the "task is to teach your child new sleep associations so that
she can fall asleep without being held, without eating, and without sucking on the breast, bottle,
or pacifier" (p. 140). The mother should “let [her baby] fall asleep under the same circumstances
that will be present when [she] wakes normally during the night (in his crib or bed, not being
held or rocked),” and should respond this way “after nighttime wakings” as well (p. 74).!
Many caregivers find not responding to his or her baby’s cries intolerable and worry that
the CIO approach has significantly negative repercussions. In a survey of 300 mothers, 95
percent said that this approach “doesn’t feel right” (Sears et al., 2003, p. 343). Ferber assures his
audience that the PWA does not have a negative psychological impact on the baby: !
When [parents] realize they will have to let a child do some crying, they often fear that
the experience will be traumatic, causing permanent psychological harm. While this
concern is understandable, long experience has shown that there is nothing to worry
about. Allowing some crying while you help your child learn to improve his sleep will
never cause psychological damage (p. 99). !
16
Ferber’s claim that the PWA “will never cause psychological damage” is based in experience
reality (“long experience has shown”) and is not grounded in empirical evidence. While Ferber
does have a lot of experience in the field of infant sleep, he cites no objective evidence to
substantiate his claim; thus it remains a hypothesis. In fact, there are no studies that consider the
psychological impact of the PWA or the CIO technique infants.!
The outcome variables in research studies that support the PWA evidence this lack of
consideration for the mental health of the baby. A study by Reid et al. (1999) measured how the
PWA affects maternal stress and the baby’s sleep pattern (not the baby’s psychology). The study
included two experimental conditions in which parents ignored their child’s sleep-related crying
by not responding to them (either absolutely no response or a systematic decrease in
response). The findings indicated that a decrease in the child’s sleep problems correlated with a
decrease in maternal stress, and that both experimental conditions led to improvement in the
child’s sleeping problems within 28 days. The proven benefits of this study are undeniable and
have far-reaching implications that benefit the infant. But it is concerning that the psychological
impact on the infant was not measured, especially since early infant/caregiver interactions have a
lasting impacts on the infant’s development and personal characteristics (Blatt et al., 2003;
Bowlby, 1969; Bowlby, 1977; Sroufe, 2005; Sroufe, Egeland, Carlson, & Collins, 2005;
Weinfield, N. S., Whaley, G. J. L., & Egeland, B., 2004). !
Arguments Behind the CIO Technique!
Proponents of the CIO approach argue that responding to an infant’s cries “spoils” the
infant. Ferber (2006) defines spoiling as “giving in to [the infant’s] demands regardless of what
is best for him.” (p. 99). In applying this concept to the CIO technique, infant crying is
considered a “demand” for attention, and the parent should not give in to this demand because
17
that is not what is “best” for the infant. What is best is for the infant to sleep independently.
Ferber states that, when a baby cries at night, “repeatedly going in to comfort him… is often not
the best thing to do” (p. 99) because it creates a “poor sleep pattern” of relying on the mother to
sleep which is “harmful for your child” (p. 100).
Other potential advantages of the CIO approach are directly related to the caregiver’s
wellbeing. As shown in the study conducted by Reid et al. (1999), an infant sleeping through the
night correlates with decreased maternal stress. In fact, many studies have documented the
negative repercussions of infant sleep problems on the caregiver’s mental status (Adams &
Rickert, 1989; Hiscock & Wake, 2002; Leeson, Barbour, Romaniuk, & Warr, 1994). Caregiver
ratings after recorded improvement in infant sleep indicate “rapid and dramatic improvements in
[the caregivers’] overall mental health status… increased sense of parental efficacy, enhanced
marital satisfaction… reduced parental stress… and [reduced] fatigue” (Mindell et al., 2006, p.
1270).
These positive outcomes have value to both caregiver and child. It is reasonable to
assume that a rested, less-stressed caregiver might be more available, more responsive, and better
equipped to parent than a stressed, exhausted, and resentful caregiver. This begs the question: is
it more advantageous for an infant to have a caregiver that responds to nighttime crying, or is it
more advantageous for a caregiver to ignore nighttime crying in favor of a full night of sleep so
he or she can be fully functional and responsive to the infant during the day? This question will
be explored further from a theoretical standpoint in later chapters.
Opposition to the CIO Technique!
Dr. William Sears is another commonly cited and resourced pediatrician in the field of
parenting. Like Dr. Ferber, Dr. Sears’ advice has reached much of the sleep training literature;
18
yet Dr. Sears is a fervent opponent of the CIO technique. Dr. Sears refers to CIO as “a method
that trains babies with less sensitivity than we train pets” and as an “insensitive dogma” (Sears et
al., 2003, p. 312). He reasons that not responding to an infant’s cries “keeps parents from
searching for the real causes of night waking and seeking out more sensitive and long-term
solutions” to better meet the infant’s needs (Sears et al., 2003, p. 345). !
Dr. Sears supports his criticism of the CIO technique by claiming that letting a baby CIO
could potentially damage the trust between infant and mother. Sears et al. (2003) state, “by
persisting with the cry-it-out approach, the mother breaks her trust in herself and her trust in her
baby's signals;” the “baby loses trust in his mother’s availability and ability to comfort him;” and
the baby “loses trust in his own ability to influence her comforting behavior to meet his needs”
(p. 345). This break in trust then threatens the essential attachment between infant and caregiver
that the infant depends on to sleep. Instead of the CIO technique, Dr. Sears recommends a
number of different options, including co-sleeping arrangements. Dr. Sears states that co-
sleeping provides an environment in which feeding is naturally available, caregivers typically
report better sleep, and the caregiver and infant spend more time together, which contributes to
the infant/caregiver attachment (Sears et al., 2003).
Recent research findings suggest that the CIO technique could lead to an increased risk
for sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Multiple studies have concluded that an infant
sleeping alone puts him or her at an increased risk for SIDS (Blair, Flemming, Bensley, Smith,
Bacon, Taylor, Berry, & Golding, 1999; Carpenter, Irgens, Blair, England, Flemming, Huber, &
Schreuder, 2004; Mitchell & Thompson, 1995). This suggests that co-sleeping arrangements are
preferable to solitary sleeping arrangements.
19
“Co-sleeping is defined as any situation in which” a caregiver “sleeps within sensory
range of an infant (on the same or different surface) permitting mutual monitoring, sensory
access, and physiological regulation, including (but not limited to) the delivery and ingestion of
breast milk” (Gettler & McKenna, 2011, p. 454). The increased potential for breastfeeding
provides a resilience factor since not breastfeeding has been found to be an independent risk
factor for SIDS (Vennemann, Bajanowski, Jorch, & Mitchell, 2009). The CIO strategy prevents
a mother from breastfeeding during the night.
Another indication that the CIO strategy might not be optimal is the dearth of empirical
evidence in support of this strategy. Even in the most popular book that outlines CIO (Ferber,
2006), there are no citations of studies that prove the efficacy of this technique. Most
recommendations in support of CIO are based on experience reality—the use of one’s experience
as evidence (Ramos et al., 2006; Faruqui et al., 2011). And again, it is concerning that no
research studies have measured the impact of CIO on the infant’s mental health. Studies have
measured how the CIO technique impacts maternal stress (Reid et al., 1999), which inadvertently
impacts the infant’s mental health; but research on how CIO affects the mental health of the
infant is warranted.
Sociocultural Considerations!
A caregiver’s sociocultural surround has a profound impact on how she responds to her
infant’s cries. For instance, a caregiver is more likely to withdraw from her infant if she is
experiencing marital or financial difficulties, living in a high-risk environment (Chrisholm &
Coall, 2008), abusing substances, or has a mental illness (Soltis, 2004). A caregiver’s
investment in her infant is impacted by whether support is available from parents (Quinlan,
Quinlan, & Flinn, 2003), alloparents (Borgerhoff Mulder, 1992), and non-biologically related
20
males (Daly & Wilson, 1997; Lancaster & Kaplan, 2000). Also, caregivers are less likely to
respond to infants who have a low birth weight (Bereczkei, 2001) or are severely ill (Soltis,
2004). These findings show that a caregiver’s environment necessarily impacts his or her
parenting strategies.!
The research behind parenting recommendations does not demonstrate awareness of the
differential impact of culture on caregivers. The majority of samples in research studies on
infant crying and attachment consist of people who identify as Caucasian or Euro-American
(Ainsworth et al., 1977; Sroufe et al., 2005; Weinfield, et al., 2004). For example, 71 percent of
the sample in a study by Leerkes, Parade, & Gudmundson (2011) was “Euro-American;” and 40
of the 43 participants in a study by Reid et al. (1999) were “Caucasian.” This lack of cultural
representation within research indicates significant bias and limited generalizability of research
findings. Recommendations on parenting strategies based on this literature should not be
regarded as optimally applicable to all cultures, as every culture embraces their respective norms
that could conflict with those of westerners.!
In fact, many non-western caregivers agree “that separate sleeping arrangements are
unthinkable,” and instead engage in the practice of co-sleeping (Rothbaum & Rusk, 2011, p.
107). Co-sleeping offers many benefits (i.e., greater ease of breastfeeding and closer contact)
that do not necessarily correlate with the infant achieving independence. Ferber, whose
philosophy preaches autonomy, states that co-sleeping “persists in those cultures that remain
socially and economically most ‘primitive’” (Ferber, 2006, p. 42). This implies that all cultures
should uphold independence as the ultimate goal for their children, yet some are unable to
achieve this goal because they are too “primitive.” This statement lacks cultural awareness that
some cultures (typically non-western) value co-dependence, which is more in-line with co-
21
sleeping than the CIO technique. It is true that the CIO technique is not optimal for caregivers
whose socioeconomic situation prevents them from providing a separate sleeping arrangement
for their infant. But to claim that co-sleeping persists in cultures that are socially most “primitive”
not only reflects a culture of oppression, it is simply invalid. Co-sleeping is seen in almost all
human cultures and is predominately deemed to be normal and safe (Barry & Paxson, 1971;
McKenna, Ball, & Gettler, 2007). In order to understand caregiving strategies, one needs to
understand the cultural context in which a caregiver exists.!
A caregiver’s sociocultural context impacts how she responds to infant crying and how
she chooses sleep-training techniques. One cannot isolate a person from his or her environment
when understanding that person’s behaviors; and this necessarily applies to a caregiver’s
response to infant sleep-related crying.!
Conclusion!
In conclusion, a caregiver’s response to his or her infant’s sleep-related crying is a
complex phenomenon, impacted by a multitude of physiological, psychological, evolutionary
and sociocultural factors. The most commonly recommended response to nighttime crying is to
let a baby cry it out; yet, surprisingly, there has been no consideration within research of how
this technique impacts the infant’s psychological development. This will be explored in the next
chapter from the perspective of attachment theory.!
22
CHAPTER III
Attachment Theory
Origins of Attachment Theory: Bowlby and Ainsworth
Attachment theory recognizes the primacy of the attachment bond between infant and
caregiver for the child’s survival, development, and relational patterns. It has historically
incorporated empirical psychological research by establishing categories of attachment through
infant observation. The primary figures in the origin of attachment theory were John Bowlby and
Mary Ainsworth.
Contributions from John Bowlby
John Bowlby initially recognized the impact of a child’s relationship with his or her
caregiver in the early 1940s while working with children separated from their parents during
World War II. He observed unexplainable behavioral differences between separated children
and those in contact with their parents.
The psychoanalytic theories of that time did not thoroughly explain this phenomenon.
Sigmund Freud (1957) theorized that the sole purpose of the mother in the child’s life was need
gratification; the mother emerges in the infant’s world to satisfy his or her basic needs (i.e.,
food). Bowlby moved away from Freud’s classic drive theory by asserting that relationships, not
drives, were central to development and how the self gets organized. Melanie Klein (1952)
described the infant/mother relationship in terms of the infant’s internal phantasies, outlined in
the paranoid schizoid and depressive positions. Bowlby felt that the actual attunement of the
23
attachment figure was critical, as opposed to Klein’s model that attachment insecurity resulted
from the nature of the child’s aggressive phantasies. Ultimately, traditional psychoanalytic
thinking of the time focused on the nature of phantasy in the internal world of the infant; whereas
Bowlby’s focus was the external world, on how the child’s manifest behavior reflected the
mother/infant attachment (Bowlby, 1944).
Animal research during that era provided a different perspective of the infant/mother
attachment bond. Research by Konrad Lorenz (1935) and Harry Harlow (1958) evidenced that
the connection between an infant and mother went beyond oral need gratification and internal
phantasies. By observing infant geese and rhesus monkeys, Lorenz and Harlow separately
concluded that infants preferred comfort from their attachment figures to feeding. These
findings indicated greater complexity in the attachment bond than simple gratification of the
infant’s need for food, highlighting the additional need for comfort and warmth. This supported
Bowlby’s continued exploration into the importance of the infant/mother relationship as it
manifests in the external world.
The Tavistock Child Development Research Group formally investigated Bowlby’s
interests—the child’s behavior upon separation from his or her attachment figure. Around 1950,
the Tavistock Group observed children’s reactions to separation from their caregivers during
situations of family crises (i.e., the mother was hospitalized). They found that all children cried
and sought out comfort from nurses upon separation; the type of relationship prior to the
separation did not differentially influence the children’s behaviors; and, importantly, all children
exhibited the same sequence of behaviors—protest, despair, and then detachment (Heinicke,
1956; Heinicke & Westheimer, 1966).
24
Bowlby (1969) showed particular interest in these observations, reasoning that the child’s
response to separation provides “an understanding of the bond that ties him to [his] attachment
figure” (p. 177). Bowlby (1973) explained that the child’s protest demonstrated his hope that his
mother would respond to his cries, despair represented his loss of hope, and detachment was a
defense against his need for the mother. He states, “the phase of protest is found to raise the
problem of separation anxiety; despair that of grief and mourning; detachment that of defence"
(Bowlby, 1973, p. 27). The findings by the Tavistock Group allowed Bowlby to develop his
formulation of the external manifestation of the attachment bond.
Attachment as an evolutionary advantage. Bowlby (1969) hypothesized that the
attachment relationship plays an essential role in the survival of an infant. Bowlby posited that a
strong attachment relationship allows an infant to retain proximity to the mother, thereby
ensuring greater protection from predators, increased the likelihood of feeding, and an
opportunity to learn essential survival techniques (i.e., how to socialize and interact with one’s
environment). Bowlby hypothesized that the infant engages the attachment relationship through
“attachment behaviors” and “proximity maintaining behaviors,” such as “sucking, clinging,
following, crying, and smiling” (p. 180) (described in greater detail in chapter two of this thesis).
These behaviors allow the infant to achieve his or her set goal of being close to the mother and
developing a strong attachment. Ultimately, Bowlby’s theory holds that a strong attachment
relationship provides the infant with a greater chance for survival.
Contributions from Mary Ainsworth
Mary Slater Ainsworth represents the second wave of contribution to attachment theory.
Around the time when Bowlby was formulating the significance of the attachment bond to a
child’s survival, Ainsworth was conducting international studies (in Uganda and Baltimore, MD)
25
by observing infants’ reactions to routine separations from their attachment figures. Bowlby and
Ainsworth both recognized how an infant’s behavioral response to separation lends unique
insight into the attachment bond.
Ainsworth’s hallmark contribution to this field was the “Strange-Situation Procedure”
(outlined in Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, & Wall, 1978). This procedure became the bedrock for
measuring attachment patterns, and is still used today. The Strange-Situation Procedure entails a
series of systematic separations between infant and mother that sometimes involve the presence
of a “stranger.” Of particular interest in this procedure is the way in which an infant responds to
reunion with the mother because it predicts the infant’s category of attachment. “The design of
the strange situation activates attachment behavior” (Ainsworth et al., 1978, p. 310). The
Strange Situation more closely represents naturally occurring separations, as opposed to the
traumatic separations observed by Bowlby and the Tavistock Group. Although Ainsworth’s
initial study findings are limited in their generalizability because they do not take place in a
natural setting and the sample consists of only upper-middle-class Caucasian families, they do
provide unprecedented insights into the attachment relationship. Today, the Strange Situation is
used internationally, across cultures, and with similarly stunning results.
Categories of attachment. Using these naturalistic observations, Ainsworth developed
three categories of attachment patterns: secure, insecure resistant/ambivalent, and insecure
avoidant (Ainsworth et al., 1978). Later on, Mary Main developed a fourth category termed
insecure disorganized (Main & Solomon, 1987; Main & Hesse, 1991).
Secure attachment. In the Strange Situation, the securely attached infant seeks close
bodily contact with and comfort from his mother upon reunion, is quickly soothed, and is able to
return to exploring his environment. This behavior upon reunion is the hallmark of a secure
26
attachment; the infant is able to use “his mother as a secure base from which to explore an
unfamiliar environment” (Ainsworth et al., 1978, p. 311). The infant has come to learn, through
repeated experiences of the mother’s sensitivity to his signals and her close bodily contact, that
the mother is a regulatory other that is reliably accessible and responsive. The infant securely
approaches his mother without conflict or ambivalence, and is easily soothed and comforted by
her. The expectation of this secure base enables the infant to confidently explore an unfamiliar
environment without the physical presence of the mother.
A securely attached infant’s behavior at home was typically characterized as “more
cooperative and more willing to comply with his mother’s requests,” and more “harmonious in
his interactions with his mother” (Ainsworth et al., 1978, p. 311). They were observed to be less
anxious, “more readily ‘socialized…’ more positively outgoing… cooperative with relatively
unfamiliar adult figures… more competent… [and explored] more effectively and more
positively” when compared to insecurely attached infants (Ainsworth et al., 1978, p. 311).
Ainsworth et al. (1978) hypothesized that these characteristics (often considered to be indicative
of independent functioning) are only achieved after repeated experiences of the mother being
available and responsive to the infant as a secure base.
It is pertinent to this thesis to highlight the infant’s crying behavior upon separation and
the type of maternal response that decreases this behavior. Ainsworth and colleagues (1978)
observed that secure infants sometimes cried and protested upon the first separation from the
mother, yet typically cried more upon the second separation from the mother. Ainsworth et al.
(1978) hypothesized that the secure infant initially retained expectation that the mother would
return; but, with repeated separations, the infant began to believe that the mother was not as
27
accessible and increased his display of attachment behaviors (crying). It was only when the
mother returned to the room and provided close bodily contact was the infant able to stop crying.
Insecure, ambivalent/resistant attachment. In the Strange Situation, the
insecure/ambivalent infant responds to reunion with a simultaneous mingling of angry resistance
to the mother and clinging or “contact-maintaining behaviors” (Ainsworth et al., 1978, p. 315).
Ainsworth et al. (1978) hypothesized that mothers of insecure/ambivalent infants “tend to lack
the fine sense of timing that is characteristic of” securely attached infants, and that the
insecure/ambivalent infant’s experience of “close bodily contact [with the mother] has not been
consistently positive” (p. 315). This typically results in the infant’s ambivalency about seeking
contact with the mother when in distress; the baby wants to be soothed, but he is not sure
whether the mother will be able to soothe him. The infant “does not seem to have confident
expectations of the mother’s accessibility and responsiveness,” and is consequently “unable to
use the mother as a secure base from which to explore an unfamiliar situation—at least not as
well as infants in” the secure attachment group (Ainsworth et al., 1978, p. 315).
Insecure/ambivalent infants tended to cry more intensely and for longer durations than
secure infants when separated from their mothers. In their natural setting, these infants were
more “easily frustrated, overreliant on their mothers, and generally incompetent in problem-
solving situations (Ainsworth et al., 1978, p. 315). Ainsworth et al. (1978) stipulated that these
infants experience “anxiety about the mother’s accessibility and responsiveness” and “tend to
respond to the mother’s departures in the separation with immediate intense distress; their
attachment behavior has a low threshold for high-intensity activation” (p. 314-315). In turn,
mothers of insecure/ambivalent infants did not consistently respond to the infant with close
bodily contact, and were typically unable to quickly soothe and reduce crying behavior.
28
Insecure, avoidant attachment. In the Strange Situation, the insecure/avoidant infant
responded to reunion with the mother with “striking avoidance… steadfast ignoring of the
mother, despite her efforts to coax the baby to come to her” (Ainsworth et al., 1978, p. 317).
These infants would approach the mother and then suddenly turn away and avoid her, often times
averting his gaze from her. Mothers of insecure/avoidant infants were observed to be rejecting,
especially when the infant sought close bodily contact. These mothers displayed irritation, or
even anger, when the infant displayed attachment behaviors (i.e., crying). Some were more
“rigid and compulsive” which gave the infant “unpleasant experiences in the context of physical
contact” (Ainsworth et al., 1978, p. 317).
Ainsworth and colleagues (1978) maintained that the observed avoidant behaviors served
a “defensive function” whereby the infant protected himself from the mother’s continued
rejection and inability to meet his needs (p. 316). This is similar to Bowlby’s (1973) theory that
children respond to separation with protest, despair, and then detachment. Bowlby hypothesized
that continued inaccessibility and unresponsiveness from the mother results in the infant’s
detachment; he relinquishes his need to have a regulatory other. This is protective in that it
allows him to develop compensatory defensive strategies through which he is able to continue
functioning. As a result, the infant ceases to display attachment behaviors, ceases to cry, because
he no longer seeks his mother’s support.
This decrease in attachment behaviors can be interpreted as independent functioning—the
infant is no longer dependent on the primary attachment figure for comfort. But understanding
this behavior from Bowlby and Ainsworth’s theoretical positions, the decrease in attachment
behaviors is a product of a defensive structure. If that structure pervasive and inflexible, it can
result in maladaptive patterns of relating and subsequent psychopathology. Ainsworth and
29
colleagues (1978) point out that insecure/avoidant infants observed outside of the Strange
Situation demonstrate “deficiencies in exploratory behavior and cooperativeness and difficulties
with inappropriate aggression in establishing harmonious interaction with adult figures” (p. 320).
These observations suggest that even though an insecure/avoidant infant’s attachment behaviors
decrease, there is still evidence of insecure and maladaptive relational patterns.
Insecure, disorganized/disoriented attachment. Attachment theorists found that
particular infant behaviors did not fit Ainsworth’s three categories of attachment. Mary Main
(1973/1977) developed an additional category called “disorganized/disoriented attachment.” In
the heart of insecure, disorganized children, no behavioral/attachment strategy can be found
because the attachment figure is the source of fear. “Distress without resolution” is the primary
observation.
Main and Solomon (1990) reviewed videotapes of Ainsworth’s Strange Situation and
concluded that some infants did not have an organized strategy to deal with stressful separations
and displayed unique, previously unclassified, behaviors. Main et al. (1990) observed
disorganized/disoriented infants exhibiting the following behaviors in the Strange Situation:
sequential and/or simultaneous contradictory behaviors, undirected or interrupted expressions
and movements, stereotyped or mistimed movements, freezing, slowed or “underwater”
expressions, displays of apprehension towards the mother, and general disoriented or
disorganized behaviors. For example, these infants would move away from the mother,
randomly fall over, rapidly change their affect, or express confusion, fear, or avoidance.
International research shows that disorganized infants are at risk for impairments in
cognitive functioning (Jacobsen, Edelstein, & Hofmann, 1994) and academic underachievement
(Moss, Rousseau, Parent, St.-Laurent, & Saintonge, 1998; Moss & St.-Laurent, 2001; Moss, St.-
30
Laurent, & Parent, 1999). Lyons-Ruth and Jacobvitz (2008) discuss typical behaviors of
disorganized infants in a naturalistic setting. These include internalizing and/or externalizing
behaviors, dissociation, fearful and/and disorganized behaviors, greater avoidance of and less
confidence in mother, controlling patterns, negative emotionality, and psychopathology. Parents
of infants classified as disorganized/disoriented typically demonstrated behaviors that were
threatening, dissociative, timid, overtly sexual towards the infant, disorganized, and/or indicated
inexplicable fright. Lyons-Ruth et al. reason “that maternal unavailability to comfort the infant
should lead to unmodulated infant fear and contradictory approach-avoidant behavior” (p. 677),
which is typical of disorganized/disoriented attachment behavior.
Continuity of Attachment Styles
Empirical research has demonstrated the consistency of attachment styles throughout
time, and has linked infant attachment insecurity to later psychopathology (Carlson, 1998; Dutra
& Lyons-Ruth, 2005; Erickson, Sroufe, & Egeland, 1985; Grossmann, Grossmann, & Walters,
2005; Sroufe, Egeland, Carlson, & Collins, 2005; Weinfeld, Whaley, & Egeland, 2004).
The Minnesota Longitudinal Study (Sroufe et al., 2005) found babies’ attachment
patterns as measured at twelve and eighteen months were the same throughout development
(measured in toddlerhood, preschool, elementary school, adolescence, and adulthood—age
thirty). The validity and generalizability of these findings are unmatched due to the large sample
size (200 mother/infant dyads) and the controlling of potential confounds (i.e., maternal
personality, IQ measurement, level of education, and infant temperament). Weinfeld and
colleagues (2004) similarly found that a baby’s attachment pattern at twelve and eighteen months
were consistent with their attachment pattern at age nineteen.
31
Researchers have also found that insecure attachment predicts psychopathology as early
as preschool age. Erickson, Sroufe, and Egeland (1985) established that preschool-age children
with insecure attachments (anxious/avoidant and anxious/resistant) exhibited maladaptive
behaviors—hostile, socially isolative, defensive, aggressive, tense, helpless, fearful, and angry.
Carlson’s (1998) longitudinal study expanded Erickson and colleagues’ findings and observed
that children with disorganized/disoriented attachment patterns exhibited pathological behaviors
from two to nineteen years of age.
Dozier, Stovall-McClough, and Albus (2008) produced a comprehensive article in which
they outlined the associations between patterns of attachment and later psychopathology. Dozier
and colleagues progress through Axis I and Axis II disorders and discuss how attachment theory
contributes to understanding each disorder. For example, they ground the empirical evidence
that insecure attachments (both resistant and avoidant) predict depression in adolescence in
attachment theory. When a child experiences repeated losses or noxious events early in his or
her life, the child develops a model of himself as fundamentally unlovable or incompetent,
resulting in pervasive hopelessness as characteristic of depression. Similarly, persons with
borderline personality disorder are often found to have disorganized attachments as a result of
early sexual abuse, emotional neglect, prolonged separations from primary caregivers, and/or
other types of early maltreatment.
The enduring nature of attachment security and the correlation between insecure
attachments and psychopathology highlight the importance and the early infant/caregiver
relationship as fundamental to one’s psychological development.
32
Foundational Understanding of Attachment
Bowlby and Ainsworth laid the foundation of attachment theory, drawing light on the
prime importance of the bond between mother and infant. Their observations led to
unprecedented insights about the development of attachment relationships and how they manifest
behaviorally. One main finding was that the establishment of a secure attachment relied on the
primary attachment figure remaining available and responsive to the infant, and sensitively
responding to the infant’s attachment behaviors with close bodily contact (Ainsworth et al.,
1978; Bowlby, 1969). Bowlby (1969) proposed that the following conditions have great
significance in a child’s attachment and development:
Conditions especially referred to are… a mother's sensitivity to signals, and her timing of
interventions, and, on the other, whether a child experiences that his social initiatives lead
to predictable results, and the degree to which his initiatives are in fact successful in
establishing a reciprocal interchange with his mother. When all these conditions are met,
it seems likely, active and happy interchange between the couple ensues and a secure
attachment develops. When the conditions are met only in part, there is some measure of
friction and discontent in the exchanges, and the attachment that develops is less secure.
Finally, when the conditions are met hardly at all, grave deficiencies of interchange and
attachment may result. (p. 343-346)
Here, Bowlby highlights the mother’s role in the formation of attachment. A timely, sensitive
response from the mother leads to an infant feeling secure in a predictable world.
Bowlby and Ainsworth also hypothesized that the attachment relationship leads to the
infant’s internal organization. Bowlby posited that “the way in which the attachment-behavioral
system became internally organized in relationship to a specific figure itself constituted the bond
33
or attachment to that figure” (Ainsworth et al., 1978, p. 17). This internal organization of
relating becomes a template for a person’s relational pattern throughout his or her life.
Intrapsychic Representation of Attachment: Margaret Mahler
Margaret Mahler was a central figure in the field of psychoanalysis in the mid-1900s.
Her seminal contribution was her theory of separation-individuation, a new theory of child
development. This theory builds upon the foundation laid by Bowlby and Ainsworth,
particularly their emphasis on separation as an indication of the attachment relationship. But,
instead of looking at the child’s behavioral response to separation, Mahler focused on how the
process of separation is represented intrapsychically.
Theory of Separation-Individuation
The theory of separation-individuation includes series of “successive reorganizations of
the mother-infant relationship over the first three years of life” (Lyons-Ruth, 1991, p. 1). Mahler
proposed that the infant first experiences herself as intrapsychically joined with the other, and
only gradually proceeds through a series of phases—autistic (later renamed “awakening”),
symbiotic, and separation-individuation (Mahler, 1971; Mahler & La Perriere, 1965; Mahler,
Pine, & Bergman, 1975). The end goal of this process is to achieve intrapsychic individuation
from the other (the infant perceives self and other as separate, stable entities) and to achieve a
certain degree of object constancy (the infant internalizes a positively cathected image of the
mother and is able to unify the good and bad part objects into an enduring whole object).
Mahler and colleagues (1965/1971/1975) describe the autistic phase (first few weeks of
life) as a vegetative, regressive state during which the infant lacks awareness of internal versus
external, and remains “objectless” (there is no object cathexis). The symbiotic phase (from
approximately 3 weeks to 5 months of age) involves a “dual unity” between infant and mother,
34
whereby the infant perceives an omnipotent fusion between the intrapsychic self and other with
only a dim awareness of the mother as external. The separation-individuation phase (from
approximately 5 months to 3 years of age) consists of four sub phases (differentiation, practicing,
rapprochement, and consolidation of individuality) and resolves when the infant achieves
intrapsychic autonomy from the mother.
Mahler and colleagues (1965/1971/1975) hypothesized that the rapprochement crisis is a
normal developmental process wherein the infant experiences a new sense of ambivalence about
seeking comfort from the mother. The infant desires “to be separate, grand, and omnipotent, on
the one hand, and to have mother magically fulfill [his] wishes without having to recognize that
help was actually coming from the outside, on the other” (Lyons-Ruth, 1991, p. 95). One would
observe a child in the rapprochement sub phase recoiling from his mother’s attempt to play and
engage in physical touch (this behavior is described as “ambitendency”). Mahler would describe
this behavior as “a fear of re-engulfment by the narcissistically invested,” where the child
envisions the mother as a dangerous other that will deflate his omnipotence (Lyons-Ruth, 1991,
p. 118).
Successful weathering of the rapprochement crisis marks the completion of the
separation-individuation phase. The infant achieves self and object constancy, relinquishes the
need for primitive, defensive splitting, and realistically perceives self and other as separate,
stable, and whole.
Comparison between Mahler, Bowlby, and Ainsworth
Bowlby, Ainsworth, and Mahler all emphasize the need for an attuned, supportive mother
to sponsor an infant’s successful independence. Mahler describes how an infant is reliant upon a
stable internalized good object to achieve separation-individuation, and that this is facilitated by
35
the mother’s careful attunement to the child’s progressive steps away (Mahler, 1971; Mahler et
al., 1965; Mahler et al., 1975). As described above, Bowlby and Ainsworth maintain that an
infant needs to experience a mother who is reliably and appropriately responsive to his needs in
order to securely explore. Both stances highlight the need for an enduring image of an attuned
mother, whether it is the anticipation of a secure base or a good internal object.
One fundamental difference between Mahler’s theories and those developed by Bowlby
and Ainsworth is the interpretation of ambivalent behavior towards the mother. Mahler
describes ambivalent pushing away and pulling towards the mother as typical of the
rapprochement crisis. The child’s ambivalent feelings towards the mother are part of normal
development, according to Mahler, and can occur in the context of a secure attachment. Bowlby
and Ainsworth conceptualize this ambivalence as evidence of insecure attachment; the infant
does not feel secure in his attachment and will pull away from his mother because he is unsure
she will meet his needs.
Bowlby, Ainsworth, and Mahler would all perceive a child continuing to display
ambitendency as pathological. Mahler views rapprochement as a temporary crisis that, if not
resolved, can result in developmental arrest. Ambivalent relating maintained beyond the
rapprochement sub phase would be indicative of a borderline dynamic where separation becomes
associated with being emotionally abandoned by the object (Mahler, 1971). Bowlby and
Ainsworth interpret ambivalent responses towards the mother as a reflection of an insecure
attachment at any point of development. All theorists agree that persistent and pervasive
ambivalent behaviors indicate an abnormal defensive structure and potential psychopathology.
Bowlby, Ainsworth, and Mahler all perceive a child’s ability separate from his or her
mother, to explore the world without the physical presence of the mother, as part of normal
36
development. Their theories diverge in the interpretation of ambivalent behaviors, but all
maintain that the infant’s achievement of separation requires an attuned, responsive other.
Mahler’s contribution remains pivotal in the development of attachment theory. She initiated a
deeper discussion about the intrapsychic representation of self and other.
Origins of Subjectivity: Contributions from Daniel Stern
Daniel Stern provided significant contributions to attachment theory. He introduced the
notion that the intersubjectivity between mother and infant allows the infant to recognize the
subjective states of self and other as separate but joined. This intersubjective experience in turn
organizes the infant’s internal experience and creates generalizable mental representations to
guide his independent functioning. In many ways, Stern’s theories fundamentally conflict with
those proposed by Mahler. Instead of a distinct intrapsychic separation between self and other,
Stern maintains that healthy separation ideally includes an intrapsychic connecting of a core self
with an other; it is increasing relatedness, in new forms.
Intersubjectivity
Stern proposes that intersubjectivity, or “sharing of subjective experience,” is possible
when the infant gradually comes to “sense that others distinct from themselves can hold or
entertain a mental state that is similar to one they sense themselves to be holding” (Stern, 1985,
p. 124). An infant recognizes that his internal experience can be shared with someone else when
his mother matches his subjective experience through the process of attunement.
Attunement. Stern posits that an attuned mother joins with the infant by matching her
subjective experience with that of her infant. She is not imitating the infant’s behavior; she is
recasting and restating the infant’s subjective experience in a form of “interpersonal
communion” (Stern, 1985, p. 148). This process allows the infant to recognize his own
37
subjectivity as that reflected by the mother, as well as the subjectivity of the mother as separate
from his own. Evidence of this is when the infant references the mother’s subjectivity as an
indication of his own feeling state.
Visual cliff experiment. The visual cliff experiment (Klinnert, Sorce, Emde, & Svejda,
1983) exemplifies a toddler’s ability to recognize the subjectivity of his mother as separate from
his own. In this experiment, a toddler approaches a potentially dangerous situation and looks
back at the mother to see what her facial reaction is. If the mother smiles, the infant proceeds. If
the mother’s affect indicates fear or wariness, the infant does not proceed over the “cliff.” Stern
(1985) highlights that “infants would not check with the mother in this fashion unless they
attributed her the capacity to have and to signal an affect that has relevance to their own actual or
potential feeling states” (p. 132). The act of using the mother’s referent appraisal of danger
indicates the infant’s acknowledgement that the mother has a subjective experience separate
from his own.
RIGs and evoked companions. Stern (1985) expands upon his theory of
intersubjectivity by introducing the concepts of generalized representations of interaction (RIGs)
and evoked companions. An infant is able to create a mental representation of his intersubjective
experience with the mother in a specific situation, and is then able to generalize these
“representations of interaction” into what Stern (1985) has termed RIGs—generalized
representations of interaction. So if an infant has multiple experiences with a self-regulating
other, she develops a generalized memory schema (RIG) through which she understands herself
as capable of regulating her emotions in the same way her caregiver helped her to do so.
When a RIG is activated, “the infant encounters an evoked companion” (Stern, 1985, p.
111). Stern (1985) describes evoked companions as “an experience of being with, or in the
38
presence of, a self regulating other, which may occur in or out of awareness” (p. 112). An infant
calls an evoked companion into active memory when he or she is in a situation that is historically
similar as those in which the self-regulating other was present. Stern (1985) specifies, “the
integrity of core sense of self and other is never breached in the presence of an evoked
companion” (p. 115); the infant evokes the symbolic cue of being with the other and uses this cue
as a signal for change in his own self-experience. The infant’s experience of self as separate
from other is not distorted.
Comparison between Stern and Mahler
Both Stern and Mahler posit that there is an initial stage of “dual-unity” (Stern, 1985) or
“symbiosis” (Mahler & McDevitt, 1980) between mother and infant during which there are no
boundaries between self and other. Mahler proposes that an infant matures beyond this
symbiosis into a phase of differentiation where the infant intrapsychically separates self from
other. Stern also theorizes that the infant comes to recognize one’s core self as separate from the
other, but describes this process as an intrapsychic joining of two distinct entities. Stern (1985)
captures this difference:
The notion of self-with-other as a subjective reality is thus almost pervasive. This
subjective sense of being-with (intrapsychically and extrapsychically) is always an active
mental act of construction, however, not a passive failure of differentiation. It is not an
error of maturation, nor a regression to earlier periods of undifferentiation. Seen in this
way, the experiences of being-with are not something like the ‘delusion of dual-unity’ or
mergers that one needs to grow out of, dissolve, and leave behind. They are permanent,
healthy parts of the mental landscape that undergo continual growth and elaboration.
39
They are the active constitutions of a memory that encodes, integrates, and recalls
experience, and thereby guides behavior. (p. 119)
Stern’s theory of intersubjectivity sets the stage for much of the current attachment
research and literature. He continues to integrate Bowlby and Ainsworth’s emphasis of the
mother/infant attachment bond in infant development and of separation as a location for
observing the nature of the attachment. He aligns with Bowlby and Ainsworth’s understanding
that healthy infant development involves a reliably secure attachment between infant and
caregiver that enables the infant to separate while retaining emotional proximity to the caregiver.
And he proceeds to expand attachment theory by introducing how the intersubjectivity between
infant and mother organizes the infant’s internal world and provides a basis for patterns of
relating. !
Contemporary Attachment Theory: Beatrice Beebe
Beatrice Beebe’s work represents the most contemporary, leading-edge research in
attachment theory. Like Daniel Stern, Beebe brings the mother’s subjectivity into view. Beebe
and her collaborator Frank Lachmann (2014) focus on how intimate relating between mother and
infant affects the establishment of the self and one’s own subjectivity. Beebe and Lachmann
propose that forming and understanding one’s core self, intimate relating, and self-regulation are
co-creations, not the responsibility of one partner alone. Many of these theories are formulated
from research using face-to-face microanalysis of infant/mother dyads. Fundamental to Beebe
and Lachmann’s work are the concepts of “dialogic origin of the mind,” “knowing and being
known,” and “self- and interactive contingencies.” All of these concepts highlight the relational
sensibility between infant and mother, and provide insights into the development of the infant’s
sense of self and attachment security.
40
Dialogic Origin of the Mind
Beebe and Lachmann (2014) theorize that beings have a dialogic origin of their mind, in
that one comes to know him or herself, to organize his or her mind, through a presymbolic,
representational communication between self and other. They posit that this dyadic,
communicative brain is inherent to human nature. Beebe and colleagues investigate this through
face-to-face microanalysis of mother/infant dyads when the infant is 4 months old. They look at
the communicative patterns between infant and mother, paying particular attention to how the
infant and mother’s actions are coordinated and how one partner’s behavior affects and is
affected by the other’s.
These microanalyses have led to Beebe et al. (2014) to hypothesize that one’s mind
“begins as a shared mind” (p. 27). An infant is able to organize her own subjective state and
develop an internal, presymbolic representation of her own mind through sensing and creating
shared subjective states. Interactions such as a mother matching the baby’s facial affect are
hypothesized to represent a shared affective state (similar to Daniel Stern’s description of
attunement), which allows the infant to feel known by the mother and the mother known by the
infant. When the dyad’s internal states are matched, or there is a “moment of meeting,” the
infant gains coherence in her experience of her internal and external world, and develops a sense
of agency and identity (Beebe et al., 2014, p. 28). This observed affective dialogue is
hypothesized to be the basis of one’s intimate relating.
Still face experiment. Beebe’s concept of the dialogic origin of the mind is reflected in
Edward Tronick’s still face experiment (Tronick, 1989). This experiment observed 3-month-old
infants’ responses to their mothers’ lack of engagement in affective dialogue. While playing
with their infants, mothers were instructed to keep their faces still regardless of the infants’
41
attempts to engage her. (This emotional detachment/withdrawal is typical of depressed
caregivers). Tronick (1989) observed that infants increased their “other-directed regulatory
behaviors” (reaching, smiling, crying, etc.) to illicit engagement and facial dialogue when the
mother’s face was stilled. This evidences the importance the infant places on affective
connection such that he or she will make tremendous efforts to have a moment of meeting.
Tronick’s conclusions were similar to Beebe’s in how he emphasized the importance of facial
affective communication between mother and infant in order for the infant to appreciate his
internal state and organize his own experience.
Knowing and Being Known
Beebe et al. (2014) theorize that an infant’s capacity to relate to other people and to
develop a coherent sense of self and other is dependent on “knowing and being known” (p. 35).
This involves the infant feeling known by the mother, knowing the mother’s mind, and knowing
one’s self. Feeling known by the mother occurs when the mother joins the infant, matches his
affective displays, and coordinates her behavior to his signals, making the infant feel as though
she is changing with him. Knowing the mother’s mind involves the infant integrating a coherent
precept of the mother’s facial expression (smiling) with his affective expression (happiness),
predicting the mother’s behaviors, understanding her facial expressions, and influencing her
behavior. The infant comes to know himself when he displays consistency in his affect
(continuously smiling as opposed to smiling and then whimpering), is able to reliably sense his
affective displays, and regulates himself through touch (i.e., sucking thumb) (Beebe et al., 2014).
In achieving these three levels of knowing, the infant develops “a coherent sense of self and
other” and establishes a pattern of intimate relating (Beebe et al., 2014, p. 35).
42
Internal Working Models
Repeated interactional experiences result in the development of internal working models
(IWMs). Beebe et al. (2014) describe IWMs as procedural representations of patterns of relating
that enable the infant to develop generalized expectancies of himself, his environment, and
interactional patterns (Beebe et al., 2014, p. 31). The infant generates procedural models or
schemas “of stimuli, events, and action sequences, allowing the infant to recognize what is new,
and to compare it with the familiar” (Beebe et al., 2014, p. 31). IWMs are similar to Stern’s
concept of RIGs and evoked companions in that an infant uses repeated experiences of
interaction to guide their behavior.
Repeated experiences of dyadic interaction enable the infant to create internal
representations of how to express and respond to specific emotions, as well as how to regulate
one’s affect. This also applies to the concept of “knowing and being known.” Collaborative
dialogue (during which the infant/mother dyad engage in attuned affective communication)
generates “internal models in which both partners are represented as open to the experience of
the other; each can know and be known by the partner’s mind” (Beebe et al., 2014, p. 35).
These IWMs guide the infant’s “emotional experiences and expectations throughout
development” (Beebe et al., 2014, p. 35). It is important to note that failure in collaborative
dialogue results in contradictory IWMs, such that the infant develops an incoherent sense of self,
other, and intimate relating, and can result in later psychopathology (Beebe et al., 2014). Also,
although IWMs are initially set in early infancy, they can be reordered and restructured to
integrate new information and experiences. This implies that even if an infant experiences an
attuned, responsive caregiver early on, the internal representation of this intimate relating can be
altered by later contradictory experiences with her.
43
Mutual regulation. An infant develops the ability to regulate her own affect by
developing an IWM of regulatory interactions with her mother. Beebe (2005) describes this as
“mutual regulation” to capture the bi-directional nature of regulation in that “each partner affects
the other” (p. 43). This implies that the infant’s IWM of regulation is a creation of both infant
and mother, such that the infant experiences interactive and self-regulation simultaneously. (This
integration of the mother’s subjectivity into understanding infant development is key in much of
Beebe’s work). It is only through repeated interactions of successful affect regulation with one’s
mother is an infant able to generalize this co-created procedural representation (IWM) to other
experiences.
Self- and Interactive Contingencies
Another way an infant develops a coherent understanding of self and other is by
developing self- and interactive contingencies—forming expectancies of the world.
Contingencies involve an infant anticipating the consequences of his behaviors, particularly the
caregiver’s response, which “organizes the infant’s expectation the he can affect and be affected
by the partner” (Beebe et al., 2014, p. 30). It has been found that the development of expectancy
is a “powerful organizing principle of neural functioning” (Beebe et al., 2014, p. 31). These
contingencies align with Bowlby and Ainsworth’s initial postulations about how attachment
security is dependent on the infant’s ability to predict his caregiver’s responses to his attachment
behaviors (Bowlby, 1969).
Beebe et al. (2014) define self-contingency “as adjustments of an individual’s behavior
that are correlated with her own prior behavior” (p. 47). The infant maintains a level of
predictability in her own rhythms and interactions. Self-contingency generates an infant’s ability
to expect and anticipate her next move. Interactive contingency “picks up consistently occurring
44
moment-to-moment adjustments that each individual makes to changes in the partner's behavior.
This process is usually out of awareness" and is “bi-directional” (Beebe et al., 2014, p. 46). Both
self- and interactive contingencies ultimately allow an infant experience herself and world as
stable and consistent. This consistency coincides with the organizing functions provided by
affective dialogues and knowing and being known (as discussed above).
Attachment Security
All of Beebe’s major concepts discussed thus far influence an infant’s attachment
security. Attachment security is rooted in one’s pattern of intimate relating. The secure infant
experiences her caregiver as available and appropriately responsive to her cues (i.e., crying); she
can predict both her caregiver’s and her own affective and behavioral responses (self- and
interactive contingencies). This pattern of intimate relating establishes coherent and adaptive
IWMs that can be generalized to all relational interactions. When the infant perceives discrepant
information (i.e., the mother is sometimes responsive, and sometimes not), the infant forms a
discrepant/disorganized IWM that could potentially result in the infant ambivalently relating to
or detaching from herself and others.
Disorganized attachment. Much of Beebe’s work focuses on the disorganized category
of attachment. When observing mother/infant dyads, Beebe and colleagues found that mothers
of infants with disorganized attachments “lowered their contingent touch coordination with
infant touch, a form of maternal withdrawal” (Beebe et al., 2014, p. 56). This is somewhat
similar to Tonick’s (1980) still face experiment where the infant experienced the mother’s still
face as a form of withdrawal. Mothers of securely attached infants “were more likely to touch
more affectionately and tenderly” when the infant initiated touch efforts (Beebe et al., 2014, p.
56). Beebe et al. (2014) hypothesize that “future disorganized infants come to expect that their
45
mothers will be unavailable to help modulate states of affective distress through maternal touch
coordination with their own touch efforts. Infants are left too alone, too separate, in the realm of
touch" (italics original, p. 57). Again, infants need to be able to predict that their mothers will
empathically acknowledge and respond to their internal states.
Beebe et al. (2014) confer that disorganized infants lack the experience of knowing and
being known because they are not affectively joined with their mothers and are not consistently
responded to. This results in the construction of “contradictory models of self-in-relation-to-
other,” and “these contradictions constitute a lack of integration in strategies for seeking comfort
when distressed” and may result in dissociative processes (p. 56). This is consistent with
observations made in Ainsworth et al.’s (1978) Strange Situation Procedure; infants with
disorganized attachments respond to reunions with their mothers with unpredictable, incoherent
behaviors.
Beebe et al. (2014) invite the mother’s subjectivity into their discussion of the origins of
attachment security by exploring why mothers experience difficulty joining with the infant.
They suggest a mother’s own distress overwhelms her ability to evoke the infant’s painful affect
into her own body. The mother’s “own visceral response of distress disturbs her ability to enter
into, and to empathize with, the infant’s distress” (p. 152). This prevents the mother from
responding to and matching the infant’s affect and prevents the infant from forming a coherent
precept of herself and her mother. In turn, the infant does not experience “procedurally
organized action sequences” of positive maternal responses and is unable to form an organized
IWM of intimate relating (p. 24).
Tronick (1989) eloquently describes how attachment security and psychopathology
interact in infant development:
46
From the perspective of mutual regulation, psychopathology is likely to arise in situations
where there is persistent and chronic interactive failure. In these situations the infant is
forced to disengage from people and things because the infant has to devote too much
regulatory capacity to controlling the negative affect he or she is experiencing (Main,
1981). Eventually and paradoxically, to the extent that these self-directed regulatory
behaviors are successful in controlling the negative affect and containing its disruptive
effects, the infant begins to deploy them automatically, inflexibly, and indiscriminately.
Thus, what were normal self-regulatory behaviors become pathological or 'defensive'
because they are used to preclude the anticipated experience of negative affect, even in
situations where negative affect might not occur. The infant gives up attempting to
appreciate the nature of the immediate situation and instead approaches new situations
already withdrawn and biased to act inappropriately. This severely constricts the infant's
engagement with the world, future options, and even autonomy and may lead to failure-
to-thrive, depression, and other forms of infant psychopathology. (p. 117)
This quotation complements Beebe’s formulation of attachment security by describing how
intimate patterns of relating can become defensive due to persistent interactive failures, or a lack
of joining between infant and caregiver. When these defenses are rigidly and pervasively
employed, the infant is no longer responsive to his or her environment. Rather, the infant
withdraws and chronically engages with the world defensively, which is the basis of
psychopathology. This theory is supports Bowlby and Ainsworth’s notion of how infants
develop defensive structures as a compensatory strategy and survival technique when their
mothers are unresponsive and inconsistent.
47
Tronick (1989) observed this in his Still Face Experiment. When infants failed to elicit
their mother’s regulatory behavior through “other-directed behaviors” (i.e., crying), the infant
began to self-comfort using “self-directed regulatory behaviors” (i.e., thumb sucking) (p. 114).
Interestingly, “the infants’ negative affect and utilization of self-directed regulatory behaviors do
not end simply upon the resumption of normal behavior by their mothers;” instead, the infants
continue in their negative mood and reduce “visual regard of their mothers for the next few
minutes” (p. 114). This suggests that, even at three months of age, affective interactions have
lasting effects, are internally represented, and “will be related to defensive behavior and
psychopathology” (p. 114).
Initial Application of Attachment Theory to the Phenomenon
The theoretical perspectives above present different frameworks from which to look at
caregiver response to infant sleep-related crying. Attachment theory provides a different
orientation to this phenomenon than that of behavioral modification programs, such as the CIO
technique. Behaviorists (i.e., Ferber) focus on changing crying behavior; whereas attachment
theorists focus on how crying is a representation of the attachment relationship and how sleep is
a separation that requires regulatory capacities and the negotiation of self and other
subjectivities. This attachment theory chapter shifts the paradigm from which to think about
crying, sleep, and caregiver response. Drawing behavioral and attachment theories together
generates a number of questions about this thesis’ phenomenon—caregiver response to infant
sleep-related crying.
One major question is—how does an infant develop the capacity to sleep without the
physical presence of his or her caregiver (the set goal of the CIO technique)? Ferber (2006)
argues that systematic nonresponsiveness to infant crying achieves this goal. Many attachment
48
theorists (Ainsworth et al., 1978; Beebe & Lachmann, 2014; Bowlby, 1969; Stern, 1985;
Tronick, 1980) present contrasting arguments. Cumulatively, they assert that an infant needs to
experience repeated affectual exchanges with a regulatory other such that he or she understands
the caregiver as predictably responsive and appropriately sensitive to his or her cues. This
implies that, in order for an infant to sleep independently and stop crying, there needs to be a
sufficient number of experiences in which a caregiver responds to the infant’s crying with
physical proximity and touch. The conflict between these two perspectives exemplifies the
fundamental disparity between behavioral and attachment theorists, which this thesis aims to
explore.
Other questions surfaced by applying attachment theories to the phenomenon include the
following: what is the impact of the CIO technique on the infant’s intimate relating and
attachment pattern; when (whether it be age or developmental stage) can a caregiver expect their
infant to be able to fall asleep alone; what do sleep-related cries communicate; how does a
caregiver negotiate his or her own subjectivity (need to sleep) with that of the infant (need for
comfort/regulation). All of these questions will be explored in the Discussion Chapter of this
thesis.
49
CHAPTER IV
Object Relations Theory
Donald W. Winnicott
Donald W. Winnicott provided fundamental contributions to object relations theory with
his emphasis on the role of mother/infant relationship in the emergence of the self. His work as a
psychoanalyst was deeply informed by his initial career as a pediatrician. Winnicott joined the
psychoanalytic community in the early stages of the development of object relations theory. He
declared allegiance to Freudian and Kleinian theory, was supervised by Klein, and analyzed by
Kleinian analysts; but he continuously revised the essence of their theories.
One fundamental difference between Winnicott and Klein rests in the nature of
aggression. Klein posited that aggression manifests as a reaction to reality—a world that does
not coincide with one’s own subjective needs. Winnicott, on the other hand, maintained that
aggression actually creates reality and allows for both the infant and mother to recognize and
assert their own subjectivities (discussed below). Ultimately, Winnicott focused on the external
world of the infant, whereas Freud and Klein focused on the internal. The tension between Klein
and Winnicott resulted in the formation of a separate psychoanalytic school within object
relations theory—the British Independent/Middle School.
This chapter will outline Winnicott’s foundational concepts, explore them within the
contemporary intersubjective paradigm, and will begin to apply this understanding to this thesis’
phenomenon—caregiver response to infant sleep-related crying.
50
Nature of the Mother/Infant Relationship
Winnicott emphasized that the formation and emergence of the self is based on the nature
of the mother/infant relationship. He coined the terms “primary maternal preoccupation” and
“good-enough mother” to describe the ideal way in which to mother an infant. Winnicott held
that the mother/infant relationship ultimately facilitates the infant’s development and separation
from the mother.
Primary Maternal Preoccupation
Winnicott (1960) describes how, in health, the mother/infant relationship begins with the
mother in a state of “primary maternal preoccupation.” During this period, the mother is
engaged in somewhat of a temporary psychosis in which she completely devotes herself to the
infant and suspends her own needs in favor of the infant’s. The mother is, in essence, creating an
“island” that allows for the infant to be absorbed in his or her own experience. The infant is in a
state of quiescence; her experience is simply held, observed, and responded to by the mother.
This allows the infant to develop a sense of omnipotence whereby the world completely adapts
to what he or she needs. When a need state emerges (e.g., hunger, discomfort), the infant
expresses the need in spontaneous gestures and the mother quickly responds to those cues. This
allows for the infant to develop his or her True Self (discussed below). Winnicott explains that
this instinctual phenomenon begins in utero and continues into the first months of life.
Good-Enough Mother
Winnicott (1960) presented the term “good-enough mother,” a concept that dispelled the
idea that a mother had to be perfect (much to mothers’ relief). Instead, he offered the idea that a
good-enough mother will eventually gradually fail to respond to her infant’s needs. At first, the
mother completely adapts to the infant’s every need (primary maternal preoccupation). Then,
51
under “good-enough” circumstances, the mother naturally and gradually decreases her maternal
preoccupation, which exposes the infant to “external reality” and ultimately facilitates the
infant’s separation from the mother.
Winnicott (1960) maintained that the good-enough mother begins in a state of primary
maternal preoccupation (discussed above). She creates a “holding environment” for the infant by
containing the infant’s emotional experience, an experience the infant does not yet have the
capacity to tolerate or integrate. With the provision of a holding environment, the infant is only
concerned with his or her own experience and is not impinged upon by external reality. The
infant is able to simply live in a state of “going on being.” Greenberg and Mitchell (1983)
eloquently describe good-enough mothering as “an initial perfectly responsive facilitation of [the
infant’s] needs and gestures; a nonintrusive 'holding' and mirroring environment throughout
quiescent states (p. 198).”
After some time, the good-enough mother slowly recovers from a state of primary
maternal preoccupation and becomes more aware of her own subjectivity. She begins to lessen
her adaptation to the infant’s needs in a process Winnicott (1949) described as a “graduated
failure of adaptation” (p. 246). The mother does not promptly or consistently respond to the
infant’s every gesture. This results in the infant becoming aware of a reality that is outside of his
omnipotent control—the mother. This is the beginning of the infant’s separation from the
mother.
Not Good-Enough Mother
Winnicott asserts that a mother is not good enough when she insufficiently adapts to the
infant’s needs. The not good-enough mother could prematurely impose her subjectivity onto the
infant, or not initially be preoccupied with and responsive to the infant’s basic needs. These
52
scenarios of not good-enough mothering essentially impinge upon the infant’s ability to
experience quiescence and omnipotence. As a result, the infant forfeits her own needs and
wishes in order to mold to the needs and demands of the mother.
Winnicott posits that the “not-good-enough mother presents the child with a world he has
to immediately come to terms with, to adapt to, and the premature concern with the external
world cramps and impedes the development and consolidation of the child’s own subjectivity”
(Mitchell & Black, 1995, p. 129). The infant of the not good-enough mother does not make
sense of or consolidate his own subjectivity because the mother is not there to hold his
experience and support his development. Instead, the infant becomes distracted by and invested
in the mother’s subjectivity, and disengages from his own needs.
Transitional Phenomenon
Good-enough mothering facilitates the transitional phenomenon—a state of being
between subjective omnipotence and external reality. In health, there is a continuous vacillation
between these two states throughout one’s life.
Subjective Omnipotence
Winnicott (1951) proposed that the infant begins life in a state of subjective omnipotence.
He describes this as an illusory experience in which the infant perceives external reality as under
his or her omnipotent control. The good-enough mother facilitates this experience by remaining
preoccupied with the infant and not challenging the infant’s illusion of omnipotence. The good-
enough mother’s complete “adaptation to the infant’s needs… gives the infant the illusion that
there is an external reality that corresponds to the infant’s own capacity to create” (Winnicott,
1951, p. 239).
53
Being in a state of subjective omnipotence allows the infant to feel safe and as though
external reality does not threaten his existence. The infant internalizes objects and thereby
experiences external reality as projections of those cathected objects. This enables the infant to
begin relating to the objects in such a way that he retains complete control over them. For
example, the infant experiences the breast as his own creation that is part of himself. Gradually,
the infant begins to develop awareness of reality and transition out of subjective omnipotence
into what Winnicott (1951) describes as a “transitional phenomenon.”
Transitional Phenomenon
Winnicott (1951) characterizes the transitional phenomenon as “an intermediate area
between the subjective and that which is objectively perceived” (p. 231). As the mother recovers
from primary maternal preoccupation and gradually fails to adapt to the infant’s needs, the infant
becomes aware of external reality. Objects become real (as opposed to projections of cathected
objects), and the infant naturally progresses towards the creative process of finding transitional
objects to assist in his movement towards objective reality. Winnicott posits that the transitional
experience can occur anywhere between four and twelve months of age.
During this stage, the infant develops the capacity to tolerate the mother’s failures and
begins to soothe himself (“auto-erotic satisfactions”). He is able to remember and relive past
experiences by integrating his past, present, and future experiences. Internal and external
realities both contribute to this experience; both realities are separate yet interrelated. The infant
exists is a transitional space in which he has access to himself and the external world.
Transitional Objects
A transitional object aids the infant in the shift from subjective omnipotence to objective
reality. The infant finds and creates this object because she is unable to fully realize reality—the
54
subjectivity of the mother. Winnicott (1951) describes the object as a “not-me possession” to
capture the paradoxical nature of the infant’s perception that the object is neither within herself
nor as only part of external reality (p. 232). The infant both finds and creates it, providing her
with a bridge to external reality. She feels as though she has omnipotent control over it, both
loves and hates it, and experiences it as having it’s own vitality.
The use of a transitional object is required for the infant to move into a transitional
experience. Greenberg and Mitchell (1983) describe this phenomenon and the role of the parents
as such:
What is necessary for the establishment of a transitional object (such as a blanket or a
teddy bear) is a tacit agreement between the adults and the baby not to question the origin
and nature of that object. The parent proceeds as if the baby had created the object and
maintains control over it, yet also acknowledges its objective existence in the world of
other people. Thus, the parent who understands this paradox allocates the object to
neither of the two realms, and the agreement not to challenge the baby's special rights and
privileges over his object creates the transitional realm. The transitional object is neither
under magical control (like hallucinations and fantasies) nor outside control (like the real
mother). Transitional experience lies somewhere between 'primary creativity and
objective perception based on reality-testing.’ (p. 195)
Transitional objects are symbolic of part-objects. A soft ball of cotton sticking out of a
blanket could be symbolic of the mother’s breast—a part-object. Eventually, the transitional
object is decathected from the self and is diffused into “the whole intermediate territory between
‘inner psychic reality’ and ‘the external world as perceived by two persons’ in common”
55
(Winnicott, 1951, p. 233). This symbolizes the infant’s transition from living in a state of
subjective omnipotence to acknowledging external reality.
Continuity of Transitional Experience
The movement between subjective omnipotence, transitional experience, and objective
reality continues throughout one’s lifetime. Each stage is a way of organizing one’s experience.
The transitional experience is seen in the infant’s capacity to play, and in the adult’s ability to
fantasize and engage with the world in such a way that allows for new, original, and surprising
experiences. When someone exists solely in the realm of subjective omnipotence, their world
consists of fragmented objects, and the person tends to be self-absorbed or schizoid. When only
in touch with external reality, the person molds him or herself to that reality and presents with a
False Self. The transitional phenomenon is soothing and returned to throughout life.
True Self and False Self
Winnicott (1960) proposed that there are two aspects of the self, the True Self and the
False Self, that have varying degrees of expression throughout one’s life. The True Self
represents one’s aliveness and is the essence of the psychic core. The False Self protects the
True Self from annihilation by conforming to external reality. The expression of the True or the
False Self is dependent on whether a person is in a state of subjective omnipotence, transitional
experience, or objective reality.
True Self
The True Self is formed while in a state of subjective omnipotence. Its formation is
dependent on the figurative and physical holding of the mother, as she repeatedly meets and
makes sense of the infant’s omnipotence. “A True Self begins to have life, through the strength
given to the infant’s weak ego by the mother’s implementation of the infant’s omnipotent
56
expression” (Winnicott, 1960, p. 145). This gives the infant the experience of being alive and
real. When the infant gives gesture to spontaneous impulse, he is expressing his True Self. As
the good-enough mother adapts to the infant’s True Self expression, the infant starts believing in
a non-threatening external reality that is under his omnipotent control.
Greenberg and Mitchell (1983) describe how the True Self is “the source of spontaneous
needs, images, and gestures” and that it “goes into hiding, avoiding at all costs the possibility of
expression without being seen or responded to,” which would be the equivalent of “complete
psychic annihilation” (p. 194). It is the role of the False Self to protect the True Self from
annihilation.
False Self
The False Self is formed as the infant moves out of a state of subjective omnipotence as
an adaptation to the demands of objective reality. Winnicott (1960) emphasizes that the “False
Self has one positive and very important function: to hide the True Self, which it does by
compliance with environmental demands” (p. 146-147). If the False Self does not successfully
defend the True Self from exploitation, the infant experiences annihilation of her core, True Self.
It is normal and necessary to develop a False Self. Without False Self expression, people
would not learn how to compromise in the face of another’s subjectivity or function within
communities. This is the part of the self that relates to the world; it is perceived as compliant,
able to compromise, sociable and adaptable. The development of one’s False Self can be
premature and maladaptive if the infant experiences a not good-enough mother. In this situation,
the mother does not “implement the infant’s omnipotence, and… fails to meet the infant gesture;
instead she substitutes her own gesture which is to be given sense by the compliance of the
infant” (Winnicott, 1960, p. 145). Winnicott (1060) asserts, “this compliance on the part of the
57
infant is the earliest stage of the False Self, and belongs to the mother’s inability to sense her
infant’s needs” (p. 145).
True and False Self organizations occur on a spectrum. At one extreme, the True Self is
completely hidden; and at the other, the True Self does emerge in safe conditions (as determined
by the False Self). A False Self organization is unhealthy when the False Self continues to
defend the True Self in otherwise normal environmental conditions. Winnicott (1960) refers to
people with such organizations as having “False Personalities” (p. 143). In health, a person’s
False Self presents as cordial and polite and provides opportunities for True Self expression.
The Subjective Reality of Hate
Winnicott (1949) claims that all humans have an innate tendency to protect their own
self-interests in order to preserve their core personality. Naturally, self-interests can coincide or
conflict with the interests of others. When intersubjective tension occurs, a person experiences
hate within the relational exchange.
Winnicott (1949) explores the concept of hate within the mother/infant relationship. He
asserts, “The mother… hates the infant from the word go,” and provides a list of eighteen
reasons “why a mother hates her baby.” These reasons capture the essence of Winnicott’s
assertion that hate results from the clashing of subjectivities: “He excites her but frustrates—she
mustn’t eat him or trade in sex with him.” The mother’s subjective needs for food and sex are
cast aside in favor of the infant’s needs (i.e., food, comfort).
The mother is at first not consciously aware of her hateful feelings towards the infant.
Initially, she suppresses her hate in order to completely adapt to the infant’s needs. Little by
little, as the mother emerges into awareness of her own subjectivity and recovers from primary
maternal preoccupation, the baby begins to experience failures and disruptions—his every need
58
is not completely met. This is the beginning of the baby’s recognition of the mother’s
separateness.
Winnicott (1949) suggests “that the mother hates the baby before the baby hates the
mother, and before the baby can know his mother hates him.” This captures the nature of hate in
the mother/infant relationship. Winnicott maintains that the mother cannot give life to her hate
during the first months of the infant’s life. The mother is to be primarily preoccupied with the
infant. She can then slowly become aware of and develop tolerance for her own hate towards the
baby; and this needs to happen before she expresses it. If she enacts her hate prematurely, as is
the case with the not good-enough mother, the baby will feel as though the mother is not sturdy
enough to endure her own hate and will thus not be able to survive his hate. The baby then
learns that he is not entitled to his own feelings of hate and conforms to the subjectivity of the
mother by developing a False Self personality. The baby begins to act in ways that avoid the
mother’s expression of hate, even if that those actions negate the infant’s needs. In order for the
infant to express his or her own hate, he needs to experience the hate of the mother.
The dynamics of hate within the mother/infant relationship, the relation between one’s
self-interests and that of the other, define the construction of one’s subjectivity. When the
mother holds the infant’s experience of quiescence in the first months of life, the infant comes to
know his own subjectivity, his own True Self. As the mother’s subjectivity comes into view and
she begins to express her hate, the infant becomes aware of the conflict between his and his
mother’s self-interests. The infant then recognizes his subjectivity as distinct from his mother’s,
and is subsequently able to express his own hate towards the mother. If this is acknowledged
and tolerated by the mother, the infant proceeds to embrace the intersubjective nature of the
relationship and to acknowledge the self and other as whole, separate entities.
59
Object Relating and Object Usage
The infant begins by relating to the object. Initially, he internalizes part of the object,
integrating it into his internal structure that is under his control. Throughout this time, the infant
is relating to the object. Then, the infant destroys the part object intrapsychically, thereby
placing the cathected object into external reality. After repeated destruction of the part object,
the infant perceives the object as enduring and whole, and is subsequently able to use the object.
This process will now be elaborated upon. For purposes of clarity, this thesis will proceed to
utilize the traditional Winnicottian terms of subject and object as referring to infant and mother,
respectively.
Object Relating
The subject’s world, at first, remains unintegrated and populated by part objects. The
subject internalizes those part objects and experiences them as part of oneself, without a separate
subjectivity. This creates the subject’s intrapsychic structure. In order to begin relating to the
object, the subject projects the cathected part objects onto the object. The subject essentially
empties the self into the mind of the object, depleting the subject’s internal structures. The
object then becomes the meaningful host of the subject’s projected parts, allowing the subject to
find herself in and begin relating to the object. Winnicott (1969) describes the role of projection
in object relating as follows:
In object-relating the subject allows certain alterations in the self to take place, of a kind
that has caused us to invent the term cathexis. The object has become meaningful.
Projection mechanisms and identifications have been operating, and the subject is
depleted to the extent that something of the subject is found in the object, though
enriched by feeling. (p. 88)
60
By internalizing and then projecting part objects into the world, the subject encounters
stimuli as parts of the self, not as separate. The object is related to as a “bundle of projections”
(Winnicott, 1969, p. 88). Benjamin (1995) describes how, during this stage in development,
“External reality is simply that which is internalized as fantasy.” The subject is able to engage
with the world in a way that is not traumatic because external stimuli have “a counterpart in the
individual’s inner, psychic reality” (Greenberg et al., 1983, p. 194). This provides the subject
with space and a sense of safety to relate to the object and to develop the omnipotence necessary
for optimal develop.
Object Usage
The subject proceeds from object relating to use by placing the object outside of one’s
omnipotent control and into external reality. This happens after the intrapsychic destruction of
the object. By destroying the cathected object, the subject proceeds from a state of denial of the
reality of the object to an affirmation of an external other. With the recognition of the object as
separate, the subject is then able to use it. Here, Winnicott (1969) highlights the difference
between object relating and object use:
This thing that there is in between relating and use is the subject’s placing of the object
outside the area of the subject’s omnipotent control; that is, the subject’s perception of
the object as an external phenomenon, not as a projective entity, in fact recognition of it
as an entity in its own right. (p. 89)
An essential component of this process is the object’s survival. If the object retaliates
against the subject’s aggressive acts of destruction, the subject will be unable to destroy it, and
will continue to deny the reality of the object as real and separate. This is consistent with
Winnicott’s description of the good-enough mother: she does not retaliate against the infant’s
61
spontaneous gestures (aggression), and she sets aside her own subjectivity (need to not have her
nipple bit) in favor of the infant’s (need to destroy her). Greenberg and Mitchell (1983) describe
how the “mother's nonretaliatory durability allows the infant the experience of unconcerned
'usage,' which in turn aids him in establishing a belief in resilient others outside his omnipotent
control" (p. 196).
When the infant is unable to destroy the object, the infant defensively internalizes the
object. The infant’s emotions are only experienced intrapsychically. Thus, when the infant
experiences aggression, he does not express it externally, which would allow for it to dissipate.
As Winnicott states, there is no “waste-disposal” in this situation. The infant looses a balance
between the intrapsychic and intersubjective worlds, and instead lives in a world of fantasy.
If the object repeatedly survives the destruction, it subsumes the quality of a “surviving
object” (Winnicott, 1969, p. 93). This “contributes to the object-constancy” and signals to the
subject that the object can be used (Winnicott, 1969, p. 93). The surviving object becomes a
whole, enduring, and separate other, and no longer remains in parts within the subject’s psyche.
This usable other is communicated to and loved.
Intersubjective Understanding of Object Relations
Intersubjective theory, especially the work of Jessica Benjamin, extends Winnicottian
concepts by focusing on the subjective experience of the caregiver, and how the intersubjective
exchange between infant and caregiver is the basis of the infant’s development. The child’s
separation from the caregiver is grounded in the child’s recognition that the mother feels
differently. How the caregiver feels is key to understanding how the infant will negotiate this
stage.
62
As the infant enters into this new awareness and begins to enact aggression towards the
caregiver, the caregiver experiences the child as changed—the infant is actively expressing his
independent will, not simply his needs. The caregiver initiates her own process of
intrapsychically destroying the cathected object of the infant, which allows her to acknowledge
her own hate towards the infant and to recover from her primary maternal preoccupation. The
caregiver mitigates her own fantasy that the infant is her object, and that she is all good and ever
providing.
The caregiver is then faced with the challenge of balancing her need to assert her separate
agency and selfhood while simultaneously recognizing and respecting the child’s will. This is
the delicate dance of the good-enough mother—the graduation failure of adaptation,
acknowledgement of one’s hate, and the provision of the holding environment. Both caregiver
and infant must recognize and assert their separate subjectivities (Benjamin, 1995).
The achievement of mutual recognition allows for the power within the caregiver/infant
dyad to be dismantled. Neither partner retains omnipotent control over the other. Rather, this
intersubjective understanding allows the caregiver and infant to use and love the other, and
separation is achieved. This mutuality prevails with the object’s continued survival of
intrapsychic destruction. The dialectic need to both assert oneself and recognize the other is
inherent in all relationships.
Initial Application of Object Relations Theory to the Phenomenon
The application of object relations theory to the phenomenon could lend significant
insights into how sleep is negotiated between infant and caregiver, and perhaps the psychological
effects of certain caregiver reactions to infant’s sleep-related crying.
63
Crying is an expression of a need state (as discussed in the Phenomenon Chapter).
Winnicott outlines how best to respond to an infant’s needs—the mother is at first primarily
preoccupied with the infant and completely adapts to the infant’s needs. The good-enough
mother then gradually fails to respond the infant’s needs (graduated failure of adaptation). How
does one interpret a mother’s non-responsiveness (inherent in the CIO technique) from this
perspective? Is Ferber’s (2006) Progressive Waiting Approach compatible with Winnicott’s
graduated failure of adaptation? Is the infant’s development of omnipotence and ability to
remain in a state of quiescence hindered by the mother’s failure to meet the infant’s needs?
Sleep training literature that endorses the CIO technique suggests that the infant achieves
the ability to sleep independently when the caregiver stops responding to the infant’s cries
(Ferber, 2006). Winnicott maintains that the infant is able to separate from the mother after
destroying the intrapsychic symbol of her—the cathected part object—and placing the object into
external reality. These are two fundamentally different ways to conceptualize independent
functioning. The former implies that the infant’s achievement independence from the caregiver
is dictated by the mother’s behavior, whereas the later asserts that separation is predicated on the
infant’s natural developmental process. Winnicott views the mother’s role as facilitating this
independence, not controlling it. How does one reconcile this conflict?
Winnicott theorizes that the mother prematurely imposing her own needs on the infant
(which could be the situation if the caregiver stops responding to the infant’s cries in order to
sleep through the night) results in the untimely development of the False Self and the hindrance
of the infant’s ability to develop his True Self. This could indicate that the desired result of the
CIO technique—the infant stops crying—is the infant conforming to the mother’s needs and
expressing her False Self. But Ferber (2006) asserts that the CIO technique does not have any
64
negative psychological repercussions. In fact, research studies illustrate that an infant’s
maladaptive behaviors (e.g., tantrums and difficult eating behaviors) improve after the
implementation of the CIO technique (Adams & Rickert, 1989; Reid, Walter, & O'Leary, 1999).
Again, there are differences in how one interprets the psychological impact of a caregiver’s
respond to an infant’s sleep-related crying. These tensions will be explored in more depth in the
following chapter.
65
CHAPTER V
Discussion
The theoretical lenses presented in this thesis help to illuminate how the nature of the
early relationship between the caregiver and infant impacts the infant’s psychological
development and lifelong pattern of relating. Attachment theory highlights the importance of a
prompt, predictable, and appropriately responsive caregiver in the formation of a secure
attachment. Theorists such as Beatrice Beebe and Daniel Stern integrate an intersubjective
perspective into attachment literature, inspiring a greater appreciation for the complex
negotiation between the mother’s subjectivity and that of the infant. They emphasize how this
interaction serves as the impetus for a mutually constructed sense of self and other. From the
object relations tradition, Winnicott’s work focuses on the intrapsychic impact of the
mother/infant relationship. He details how the attuned, good-enough mother facilitates the
infant’s conceptual development of self and other, how mother/infant differentiation naturally
manifests with the inevitable clashing of subjectivities, and how an infant transitions from
internal to external reality.
This chapter will first synthesize the theoretical perspectives discussed thus far through
a case analysis. The focus will then shift to the application of attachment and object relations
theories to the phenomenon—caregiver response to infant sleep-related crying—with a specific
concentration on the sleep training technique of letting a baby “cry it out” (CIO) (Ferber, 2006).
The discussion will then progress towards a broader consideration of the caregiver/infant
66
relationship as a whole, acknowledging the range of self-other tensions and the multi-faceted
impact of the environment. Finally, considerations about parenting strategies and clinical
approaches will be addressed in response to this analysis.
The Case of Noah and Sarah
Consider the following case example presented by Slavin and Klein (2014):
Noah, the 6-year-old son of a patient named Sarah, had become terrified to go to sleep.
During the day he seemed obsessed with all the dangerous and violent things he would
see in the news. At night, Noah worried that people, creatures, might come into his
room, maybe steal him away. Maybe he will die. We knew of no particular identifiable,
significant trauma in his history.
Sarah listens as Noah expresses his mortal fears. She tries to show him she
understands his fear of somehow losing his connection with her and his dad. She tries to
reassure him that his world is not such a dangerous place. He listens to her, and his fears
continue.
In analysis, we start to realize that maybe, in part, Noah is seeing an aspect of our
world and its dangers that is barely tolerable to us all: to Sarah, to her husband, to her
analyst. Yes, of course he wants and needs some reassurance about his relative safety.
But also, perhaps, more acknowledgment of what he too clearly sees.
Sarah goes back and shares with him her sense that maybe he wants her and his
dad to admit just how much scariness there is in the stuff he sees and hears on TV,
Internet, and newspapers. That maybe he is aware of this scary stuff in ways that she and
his dad have gotten so used to they don’t have to feel it, or see it any more. Yet he does.
67
Noah then seems a little bit calmer. Still scared, but much more interested in talking to
her and in what she has to say.
Soon, in fact, the following conversation emerges at another bedtime:
Mom: I know it can be scary going to sleep. But you can count on us being here and
we’ll protect you.
Noah: But, mom, I think… maybe you’re not strong enough to protect me.
Mom: We’re, ah, pretty strong grown-ups. You’re safe in here with us and we love you
very much.
Noah: But, mom, you love yourself more than me.
Mom: Well, ah, not really… I, ah, parents… love their children just as much as
themselves.
Noah: But, mom, I think I love myself more than you.
Mom: Well, that’s probably how it should be for kids. You need to love yourself a whole
lot, probably should love yourself best.
Noah continues to be very frightened of going to sleep.
During our next several analytic hours, Sarah continues to talk about how she
handled Noah’s fears—feeling pushed beyond the limits of her understanding by his
assertiveness, unable to think, overwhelmingly emotionally challenged. The analyst felt
some of this too—though greatly appreciating Noah’s verbally disarming candor.
Sarah and his dad’s more open recognition that there was some very real basis to
Noah’s perception of the scariness in the world seemed to begin to open up his ability to
bear what we’ll call his basic existential anxiety. Now he was broaching highly related,
even thornier, relational-existential-moral questions: How we navigate the tensions
68
between our love for ourselves and our connections with loved others; the self-other
tensions that intertwine with our whole sense of meaning, faith, and love, in the face of
everyone’s multiple agendas, as well as shared, background existential terror. He
candidly confronts the everyday, taken for granted, deceptions and self-deceptions that
inevitably intertwine with these realms of experience.
Sarah slowly came to feel that, maybe, she could somehow acknowledge that
while she loved Noah very much, she was also very involved in things in her own life,
including her work. Yes, sometimes this might pull her thoughts away from him, pull her
to things and people apart from him. She contemplated the possibility of acknowledging,
in words he might grasp, that such a tension—such multiplicity, actually—existed inside
her. It seemed unquestionably to be a tension that Noah intuitively sensed.
A few nights later, Sarah told Noah: “You were probably seeing something more
clearly about me and you than I had realized… you saw that I love you as much as I can
imagine loving anyone. And there are also other things I love, and love to do—things
that sometimes take me into my own mind, sometimes away from you.”
Noah looks at her for a while. He nods his head, seeming to signal that he hears
her. He seems much calmer, nestles in, body relaxing, and soon falls asleep. Things
settle down. (p. 164-165)
Case Analysis
This rich clinical material highlights many concepts discussed within this thesis. First,
the case presents a beautiful depiction of Winnicott’s (1960) “good-enough mother.” Sarah
remains attuned to Noah’s needs and continues to hold his feeling states in mind. She even
carries them into her own analysis, evidencing her preoccupation with Noah. But Noah detects
69
Sarah’s inevitable failure of adaptation to him; he realizes that she is not impervious to external
dangers, loves more than just him, and has other emotional investments that can distract her.
True to the nature of good-enough mothering, Sarah explicitly acknowledges her imperfect
adaptation to Noah’s needs, facilitates his tolerance of her failures, and continues to contain and
respond to Noah’s experience. This case material is relevant this thesis because it demonstrates
how a caregiver can successfully respond to a child’s expressions, and specifically exemplifies
the inevitable anxieties that can manifest at bedtime, at the location of separation.
Development of the Self
This case also highlights how a child’s intrapsychic development of a coherent sense of
self and other is impacted by the caregiver’s capacity for self-awareness and ability to tolerate
her own failures of adaptation. It details Sarah’s process of re-questioning her own reflexive
illusion of safety and re-creating a realistic understanding of her self. Slavin and Klein (2014)
depict how Sarah felt overwhelmed and “pushed beyond the limits of her understanding by his
assertiveness” (p. 164). She began to see Noah’s separateness (his independent thought process
and emotional reactions) more clearly, and was impacted by the need to be attuned to his
separate experience, even when it fundamentally challenged her own orientation to the world and
herself. This challenged Sarah’s understanding of the world and ignited her own intrapsychic
process of transitioning from subjective omnipotence to objective reality. Essentially, the
process of making her own subjectivity more explicit to Noah allowed Sarah to recognize Noah
as separate and be more attuned to his needs.
Recognition and Assertion
Sarah’s experience is beautifully captured in Jessica Benjamin’s (1995) contemporary
Winnicottian description of how the intersubjective confrontation of separate aims within the
70
mother/infant dyad ideally results in a mutual recognition for and assertion of each partner’s
separate subjectivities. As the child expresses his unique perspective, the mother reaches a focal
point in which she realizes that the child is no longer her fantasy, “no longer her object,” and that
the she is no longer an omnipotent, ever-giving mother. In order to navigate this stage, the
mother mitigates her own omnipotence, recognizes her own selfhood as separate, and
acknowledges her and her child’s ability to survive her imperfection. Benjamin (1995) points
out that the mother then “has to be able to both set clear boundaries for her child and to
recognize the child’s will, both to insist on her own independence and respect that of the child—
in short, to balance assertion and recognition.” This is seen in Sarah’s recognition of Noah’s
fearful and loving emotions, and in her assertion of her simultaneous love for him and for her
work. This allows both Sarah and Noah to develop a mutual recognition of each other’s separate
yet related subjectivities.
This process of coming to a mutual recognition of intersubjective separateness requires
the paradoxical dependence on the other to recognize our independence before one realizes it on
his or her own (Benjamin, 1995). In order for there to be recognition of another’s subjectivity,
there needs to be an empathic “joining” between self and other through the process of
“attunement” (Stern, 1985). Sarah’s acknowledgment of her own “existential anxieties” and
“relational-existential-moral questions” allows her to cultivate empathy for and “join” Noah’s
affective experience. This is evident when she shares with Noah that the dangers of the world
are “barely tolerable to us all” and that her involvement with things in her own life “might pull
her thoughts away from him” (Slavin et al., 2014, p. 164-165). Noah is then able to recognize
and organize his internal and external conception of the world, and to attain the capacity to
soothe himself to sleep (a capacity that requires independent self-regulatory capacities).
71
Knowing and Being Known
Beebe and Lachmann (2014) maintain that the mind becomes organized through intimate
relating, which involves “knowing and being known” (p. 35) and the development of “self- and
interactive contingencies” (p. 52). It slowly became clear that Noah did not know or understand
particular aspects of his mother’s subjectivity (e.g., her emotional distance when distracted by
work) and, in regard to those unknown dimensions, may have felt as though he could not predict
her behavior (e.g., whether she would be available or strong enough to protect him). Without
“knowing” parts of his mother, Noah struggled to “know” parts of himself.
This illuminates the inevitable dimension of “unknownness” that manifests in every
caregiver/infant dyad, even the most securely attached. Despite Sarah’s good-enough mothering,
Noah was still overwhelmed by uncertainty about what was hidden, which left him disorganized,
fragmented, and vulnerable to attack (as reflected in his annihilation anxiety of the creatures and
people he saw on TV). It seems as though Sarah’s ability to acknowledge Noah’s experience of
not “knowing,” and tolerate her own process of not knowing, allowed her to ease her child’s
anxiety.
Noah eventually came to “know” himself through “knowing” his mother. He discovered
more of his mother, more about parts of her that perhaps earlier were protectively hidden from
him. When Sarah was able to attain a more realistic understanding of her self, recognize and
match Noah’s affect, and assert the nature of her subjectivity as separate and as capable of
surviving failure, Noah came to “know” himself more clearly. Like his mother, he was able to
recognize that his fears were real yet not life threatening, and that he loves himself more than his
mother. This understanding allowed him to develop self- and interactive contingencies, enabling
him to predict both his own and his mother’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This maturation
72
gave him a sense of security in the world and ultimately resulted in his ability to regulate his own
emotions.
Internal Working Model of Regulation
The attainment of self- and interactive contingencies, as evident in this case, can result in
the development of self-regulatory capacities. Contemporary attachment theorists, such as
Daniel Stern, proclaim that repeated experiences with a regulatory other can be generalized to
similar situations over time. Stern (1985) describes this process as a “RIG:” the infant develops
an intrapsychic procedural representation of repeated interactions with his mother, and
subsequently generalizes this representation to similar contexts in which the mother is externally
absent. The infant evokes the experience of being with the mother (through the presence of an
“evoked companion”), and is then able to assume the function the mother provided in those past
experiences (e.g., emotional regulation). After repeated experiences with Sarah as an attuned,
soothing other, Noah was able to internalize her regulatory presence and quiet himself to sleep.
Noah’s anxiety (his “mortal” fear that “people, creatures, might come into his room,
maybe steal him away” and thought that “maybe he will die”) overwhelmed his capacity to sooth
himself to sleep. This fear was too real for him, and he required his mother’s external
scaffolding of regulatory capacities to fall asleep. Slavin and Klein (2014) note that the
“mother’s responsive presence can, indeed must, serve not only as an innate interactional need,
but, as such, as a vital, innate antidote” to the child’s anxiety (italics original, p. 166). Sarah
served as the “antidote;” she was present enough and allowed herself to be related to and used as
a regulatory other. Without her presence, Noah was overwhelmed by the “inner/outer abyss” and
was left without a sense of coherence or omnipotence (Slavin et al., 2014, p. 166). Sarah
ultimately bridged Noah’s isolated experience with the external world.
73
This case walks the reader through the process of how a child and mother negotiate their
separateness. This negotiation required the mother to first engage in her own transitional
experience—to recognize and assert her own subjectivity as separate. This allowed her to join
with and “know” her son, enabling the son to know himself, to organize his intrapsychic
representation of self and other, and to assert his own subjectivity. This intersubjective process
was required for the son to comfortably separate from his mother and fall asleep.
What can this case example teach us about the process of bedtime soothing and sleep-
related parenting between parents and infants? In the case of Noah and Sarah, we hear two
verbally communicating individuals negotiate around their needs and separate subjective
realities. Noah, at age six, is at a later stage of development than an infant. As such, his
negotiation of sleep and separation is remarkably different due to the more mature nature of his
anxieties and defensive structures. How might this process of bedtime soothing occur in a less
verbal register between a caregiver and infant in an earlier stage of development? The following
section will help to shed light on these questions by applying theory to the question of infant
sleep-related crying and caregiver response.
Application of Psychoanalytic Theory to the Phenomenon
This discussion will now apply the theoretical understandings discussed thus far to the
phenomenon—caregiver response to infant sleep-related crying. Specific attention will be paid
to the psychological impact of a caregiver’s non-response to an infant’s nighttime cries, as this
consideration is alarmingly omitted from current sleep-training literature and research. First, the
psychological motivations behind crying behavior will be explored, followed by a detailed look
at how a caregiver’s non-responsiveness potentially impacts the infant’s attachment and object
relations.
74
Infant Sleep-Related Crying
Crying as an expression of a need. Crying is one of the few ways in which the pre-
symbolic, pre-verbal infant can communicate a need. Infants lack the capacity to fully
understand or respond to their own needs, and can be quickly overwhelmed by sensations (e.g.,
hunger, cold) that disrupt their desired homeostatic existence (Davies, 2011). Crying can be
used to express that experience of overwhelm and can indicate a certain need state. That said,
there is great variability in how a caregiver listens to and interprets an infant’s crying, and thus
how the caregiver chooses to respond. It is of note that the term “sleep-related crying” captures
this phenomenon from the perspective of the caregiver, not the infant, for whom the crying has
other meanings and communications.
The “Cry It Out” technique (CIO) is rooted in the understanding that infant sleep-related
crying signals a maladaptive dependence on the caregiver (Ferber, 2006; Holt, 1907). The CIO
literature advocates for the extinction of sleep-related crying through caregiver non-
responsiveness in order to facilitate the infant’s ability to sleep independently (Ferber, 2006;
Ramos & Youngclarke, 2006). This perspective holds that, after repeated experiences of having
a caregiver physically absent when falling asleep, the infant will unlearn inappropriate “sleep
associations,” teach him or herself the ability to soothe oneself to sleep, and will subsequently
stop crying out at night (Feber, 2006, p. 62).
The infant’s need, from the CIO standpoint, is to function independently. Crying is
therefore not necessarily listened to as a specific communication of a need state. Rather, crying
is an indication that the need—the need for separateness—has not been satisfied (the child is still
crying for and dependent on the caregiver’s presence). Thus, the caregiver’s response—letting
the infant cry it out—is a facilitation of the infant’s needs. This understanding is in line with
75
psychoanalytic thinking in that the caregiver’s role is to adapt to the infant’s needs (Winnicott,
1960). Where psychoanalytic theory and the CIO literature diverge is in the interpretation of the
infant’s needs (as symbolically expressed through crying).
Psychoanalytic theories, especially those proposed by Winnicott (1960), Benjamin
(1995), Stern (1985), Beebe and Lachmann (2014), teach how the good-enough mother’s
attunement to the infant’s need states (as communicated through crying) is imperative for the
infant’s psychological development (e.g., the development of the capacity to self-soothe and
function without the physical presence of the caregiver). Crying is therefore listened to in
implicit detail for signals of need states. This attentiveness also facilitates the process of the
caregiver coming to “know” her infant (Beebe et al., 2014). The caregiver then aligns with her
intuitive understanding of her baby and her own capacities as a caregiver, and responds to the
cries/needs accordingly. This attuned listening is evident in the case of Noah and Sarah when
Sarah carefully attended to Noah’s need for a durable, whole object to use while falling asleep.
Sarah’s understanding of, holding, and responding to this need enabled Noah to self-soothe and
fall asleep.
This perspective opens up the possibility that the CIO technique is an appropriate
caregiver response to infant sleep-related crying. An attuned caregiver could sensitively read the
infant’s cry as the infant struggling with something it can definitively master—falling asleep
without the caregiver’s presence. In such a case, it could be fitting to wait before responding to
the cries, giving the infant time to engage the internalized good object or IWM and to soothe him
or herself to sleep (Stern, 1985). If attuned listening indicates that the infant is unable to engage
the internalized soothing object, it seems as though not responding to the cries at this point
would be, in essence, abandonment—the infant is left without the experience of a good object.
76
It is important to note that, irrespective of which theoretical lens one assumes, removing
oneself from the ability to listen to an infant’s sleep-related crying (as practiced in the CIO
technique), forecloses the opportunity to know the infant on a more intimate level. The
groundbreaking infant microanalysis conducted by current attachment theorists clearly illustrates
the importance of the intricate facial dialogue between mother and infant in the infant’s ability to
“know and be known,” and in the intrapsychic development of self and other (Beebe et al.,
2014). It seems as though a caregiver’s absence at bedtime—a prime location of the intrapsychic
negotiation of separation—limits the caregiver’s ability to really “know” her infant, and thus, the
infant’s ability to really “know” him or her self.
The psychological etiology of crying extinction. Attachment and CIO literature differ
in how they explain the extinction of crying behaviors after repeated caregiver non-
responsiveness. As discussed in Chapter III of this thesis, early attachment theorists have
observed how children react to their caregiver’s absence with displays of protest, despair, and
ultimately detachment (Bowlby, 1973; Heinicke, 1956; Heinicke & Westheimer, 1966). On the
surface, the crying behavior observed during the implementation of the CIO technique mirrors
that observed by these theorists: the infant’s crying increases in intensity the first time the
caregiver does not respond to the cries, and proceeds to decrease after subsequent episodes of
nonresponsiveness until extinction.
Early attachment theorists understand this type of crying extinction—that which occurs
as a result of caregiver absence—as a defensive strategy. Bowlby’s (1973) theory explains how
all defenses are based on the deactivation of legitimate attachment needs. If the infant
experiences the caregiver as continuously inaccessible and/or rejecting, the infant defensively
relinquishes his need for a regulatory other and detaches from the caregiver (Bowlby, 1973).
77
Once detached, the infant’s crying behavior markedly decreases. This defensive strategy is
typically observed in infants with insecure attachments (Ainsworth et al., 1978). Notably,
insecurely attached infants can appear to function independently (e.g., falling asleep without the
caregiver’s presence), but such functioning typically occurs in tandem with maladaptive
relational behaviors and is associated with future psychopathology (Ainsworth et al., 1978;
Carlson, 1998; Dutra & Lyons-Ruth, 2005; Erickson, Sroufe, & Egeland, 1985; Grossmann,
Grossmann, & Walters, 2005; Lyons-Ruth & Jacobvitz, 2008; Sroufe, Egeland, Carlson, &
Collins, 2005; Weinfeld, Whaley, & Egeland, 2004). CIO literature, on the other hand, explains
crying extinction after repeated caregiver non-responsiveness as adaptive: the infant develops the
capacity to self-soothe and begins to function independently.
The difference between these two perspectives is striking. One asserts that crying
extinction following caregiver absence is adaptive and signals an increase in functional capacity;
while the other deems it to be indicative of a defensive structure that is associated with insecure
attachment and future psychopathology. If Sarah had not been appropriately responsive to
Noah’s expressions of anxiety and he began falling asleep without worry, would this indicate
adaptive, healthy development? Or would it indicate a defensive surrendering of Noah’s need
for his mother’s containment of his emotions due to her unreliable availability? Perhaps a closer
look at psychoanalytic theory about infant development, especially the relational and
intrapsychic impact of specific caregiver responses, could lend insight into these important
questions.
Caregiver Response
The case of Noah and Sarah provides an example of how a caregiver’s response enables
the child to soothe himself to sleep. The way in which Sarah responded to Noah is different than
78
the response of a mother practicing the CIO technique. Sarah remained both physically and
mentally present throughout Noah’s sleeping difficulties. From a psychoanalytic perspective,
Sarah’s attunement and “good-enough” mothering facilitated Noah’s development of self-
regulatory capacities and intrapsychic representations of self and other, and this ultimately
enabled him to calmly fall asleep. Psychoanalytic theory lends insight into this thesis’
phenomenon—the impact of caregiver non-responsiveness on the infant’s intrapsychic
development.
Caregiver absence. Crying, as discussed above, is an emotional expression. The infant
may experience emotional abandonment if the caregiver does not respond to his or her
expressions. Current attachment literature explains how an infant only knows his or her own
emotional experience when the caregiver joins with and matches the infant’s affect (Beebe et al.,
2014; Stern, 1985). If the infant has not experienced “good enough” joining, the caregiver’s
absence at bedtime could activate the infant’s primitive anxieties because the infant is not able to
understand, tolerate, or manage his or her own affective experience. These anxieties an only be
remedied by the caregiver’s attunement.
An infant can develop an intrapsychic representation of a regulatory other (a RIG or an
IWM) to guide his or her behavior in situations where the caregiver is absent (Beebe et al., 2014;
Stern, 1985). This representation is only developed after repeated experiences with an attuned,
responsive, regulatory other. This means that, if the infant has not had “enough” good object
regulatory experiences with the caregiver, the infant will not be able to draw upon this
internalized good object experience to manage his or her disregulated affect without the
caregiver’s concrete, physical presence and external regulation (Winnicott, 1960). The infant
needs to develop an IWM of affect regulation in order to navigate the caregiver’s absence. If the
79
caregiver prematurely stops responding to the infant’s sleep-related cries, the infant will most
likely resort to defensive strategies (e.g., detachment or dissociation).
The infant may also respond to the caregiver’s absence with annihilation anxiety. In the
early stages of development, when the infant has not attained object constancy, the caregiver’s
absence could threaten the existence of the infant’s cathected part object representation of the
caregiver. During this time, the caregiver’s external existence is not yet recognized. The infant
remains in a state of illusory omnipotence whereby the caregiver only exists as a part of the
infant (Winnicott, 1960). The caregiver’s absence can therefore be experienced as an
annihilation of the infant’s internal object world because what was a reflection of his
intrapsychic world (the external presence of the caregiver) no longer exists. As a result, the
infant develops a defensive structure for protection—a False Self.
False Self. Crying is the assertion of a spontaneous need alive within the True Self. A
good-enough mother facilitates the development of the True Self by repeatedly holding, making
sense of, and implementing the infant’s omnipotent expressions (Winnicott, 1960). When the
good-enough mother presents the breast in response to the infant’s hunger cry, the infant is able
to remain in a state of spontaneous being and self-assertion, and to develop a healthy sense of
omnipotence. When the caregiver does not provide a good-enough environment, it shocks the
infant’s self and threatens his continuity of being. The infant feels as though his diffuse,
fragmented existence will disappear because the emotions associated with the bad object
experience that cannot be contained. The infant is then overwhelmed by annihilation anxiety, as
he or she is left without the caregiver’s holding or ability to hold onto the good object. The
infant’s response, then, is to defensively dissociate from or split off the reality of the caregiver’s
absence through False Self compliance. Winnicott (1960) emphasizes that the “False Self has
80
one positive and very important function: to hide the True Self, which it does by compliance
with environmental demands” (p. 146-147).
The infant of a caregiver practicing the CIO technique could experience the caregiver’s
non-responsiveness as the caregiver’s inability to hold the infant’s experience. As a result, the
infant would develop a False Self to protect the True Self from annihilation or exploitation. The
False Self complies with the demands imposed by the caregiver. By letting the infant cry it out,
the caregiver substitutes her needs (e.g., for sleep) for those of the infant (e.g., for comfort). The
infant is abruptly forced out of a state of subjective omnipotence into objective reality, which
jeopardizes the infant’s development of the True Self and forecloses on the opportunity for True
Self expression.
Caregiver hate. Humans have an innate tendency to protect their own self-interests
(Winnicott, 1949). This results in an inevitable clashing between self and other subjectivities
within all relational exchanges. This self-other tension necessarily applies to the caregiver/infant
dyad and manifests when the infant’s need for the caregiver to respond to his or her sleep-related
cries conflicts with the caregiver’s need (e.g., to sleep or have intercourse). It is only natural for
the caregiver to respond to this intersubjective tension—the emergence of differing
subjectivities—with hate.
Winnicott (1949) evocatively writes about how the mother “hates the infant from the
word go.” From conception onwards, the infant’s existence interferes with the mother’s self-
interests. It seems as though the negotiation of self-other tensions is at the heart of sleep training
techniques—the caregiver desires sleep-related crying extinction out of his or her own self-
interest. The caregiver’s hate compels him or her to not want to respond to the infant’s sleep-
related cries. This universal desire could explain why the CIO technique is most commonly
81
advised in sleep training literature (Ramos & Youngclarke, 2006)—it promises the rapid
satisfaction of the caregiver’s needs.
The caregiver does not recognize his or her own hate at first. The good-enough caregiver
is initially engaged in somewhat of a temporary psychosis (the fantasy of a self/other merger that
contradicts reality testing) in which he or she remains completely “preoccupied” with the infant
and suspends his or her own needs for those of the infant (Winnicott, 1960). This “primary
maternal preoccupation” masks the caregiver’s awareness of hateful feelings towards the infant
that result from clashing subjective aims. During this period, the good-enough caregiver most
likely responds to the infant’s every sleep-related cry, completely adapting to the infant’s needs.
Over time, the caregiver gradually recovers from the state of primary maternal
preoccupation and his or her own subjectivity slowly comes into view (Winnicott, 1960). During
this process, the caregiver starts to notice how the infant’s sleep-related cries pull the caregiver
away from his or her own life (e.g., the marriage or the ability to be rested enough to work).
Such self-other tension results in the experience of hate; the caregiver hates the infant for crying
because it interferes with the caregiver’s self-interests. At this point, the caregiver might be
compelled to stop responding to the infant’s cries and to begin letting the baby CIO. This
scenario is natural in that the caregiver senses that letting the baby CIO is developmentally
appropriate.
How hate impacts the infant’s transitional experience. An infant who has experienced
“good enough” caregiving naturally progresses out of a state of subjective omnipotence into a
transitional experience (where objective reality comes into view) (Winnicott, 1969). This occurs
after the infant destroys the cathected part object representation of the caregiver and places the
object into external reality, recognizing its separate existence. The infant engages in this process
82
by repeatedly attempting to destroy the object. If the object survives the infant’s attacks and
proves itself to be durable, the infant is able to integrate the good and bad part objects into a
whole enduring object (thereby attaining object constancy). In this scenario, the infant never
feels completely alone because he or she understands that the object is enduring even when out
of sight (Winnicott, 1969). In a different scenario, if the caregiver responds to the infant’s
destructive acts with retaliation or crumbling, the infant will remain in a state of subjective
omnipotence and will continue to deny the objective reality of the caregiver as separate.
The caregiver’s own intrapsychic development within the context of the infant/caregiver
dyad is essential in this process (as evident in the case analysis above). The caregiver’s
negotiation of his or her own transitional experience and ability to recognize and tolerate his or
her intersubjective separateness directly affects the infant’s development. If the caregiver does
not successfully navigate the self-other tensions that inevitably occur, the caregiver might make
his or her hate/separateness known to the infant prematurely. That hate could manifest as the
caregiver not responding to the infant’s cries; and the infant might interpret this lack of response
as retaliation, thereby halting the infant’s development. Retaliation would overwhelm the
infant’s ability to hold onto the soothing, good part object representation of the caregiver and
would prevent the infant from progressing into a transitional experience.
It is also possible that a caregiver who cannot recognize or tolerate his/her separateness
might be unable to value or even know his/her own needs as they deviate from those of the
infant. As such, the caregiver could be more vulnerable to projecting his/her own needs onto the
infant’s cries and might begin to over-respond to them (the opposite of not responding). This
scenario could, through a separate trajectory, interfere with the infant’s process of appreciating
the separateness of him/herself and the caregiver.
83
One might argue that an infant’s sleep-related cry could sometimes be the external
manifestation of the intrapsychic destruction of the object. Since sleep is a primary location of
separation, the infant may attempt to destroy the object when trying to fall asleep in effort to
place the object into external reality to use as a durable other. From this perspective, how would
a caregiver’s lack of response to his or her infant’s sleep-related cries affect the infant? Since the
infant has not attained object constancy at this stage of development, perhaps the infant would
perceive the caregiver’s absence as the literal destruction of the object, and therefore the
annihilation of the self. Or, the infant could interpret the caregiver’s lack of response as a
retaliatory bad object act against the infant’s True Self expression—crying. Either way, it seems
as though letting an infant CIO before the infant has entered into a transitional experience and
has obtained object constancy could hinder the infant’s intrapsychic development of self and
other and capacity for separation.
Graduated failure of adaptation. It has been established that the caregiver’s premature
imposition of her own needs or unveiling of her hate towards the infant negatively impacts the
infant’s psychological development (Winnicott, 1949; Winnicott, 1951). It is also true that the
good-enough caregiver eventually, and only gradually, makes his or her own subjectivity known
to the infant by entering the stage of “graduated failure of adaptation” (Winnicott, 1951). It
could be then that letting the infant CIO is part of the caregiver’s graduated failure of adaptation
(the caregiver making his or her own subjectivity known), and that this is actually necessary for
the infant’s development.
The key word in this concept is “graduated.” An abrupt encounter with the caregiver’s
subjectivity—objective reality—without matured internal capacities impinges on the infant’s
consolidation of his or her own subjectivity, and could result in the infant’s development of an
84
inflexible and indiscriminately expressed False Self personality, an insecure attachment, and
later psychopathology (Beebe et al., 2014; Winnicott, 1960). If the caregiver does not engage in
a graduated failure of adaptation in a good-enough way, the infant’s development is arrested.
The infant is left in an illusory state of subjective omnipotence because he or she has not
developed the capacity to tolerate or negotiate objective reality. Instead of normal maturation,
the infant remains fragmented and defensively projects the bad object experience (the abrupt
encounter with reality), protecting the attachment with the caregiver. The infant needs to
experience objective reality only in a graduated fashion, in such a way that the infant retains
access to both himself and the external world. Without this, the infant may have a traumatic
encounter with reality; instead of it being graduated, it is sudden, unexpected, shattering, and
annihilating.
This understanding of graduated failure of adaptation begs the question—does the CIO
technique qualify as a graduated failure of adaptation, or does the CIO technique cause the infant
to prematurely and abruptly encounter objective reality? Perhaps Ferber’s (2006) “Progressive
Waiting Approach,” where the caregiver waits to respond to the baby’s nighttime wakings at
progressive intervals on subsequent nights, more closely resembles Winnicott’s (1969) graduated
failure of adaptation. But, the way Winnicott and other psychoanalytic theorists describe good-
enough caregiver responses is more based on an intuitive knowing of self and other than it is on a
quantifiable, externally prescribed formula of response. Using a prescribed formula removes the
experience from the unique, dyadic context of the relationship.
There could be a situation in which a caregiver intuitively senses that the infant has
matured enough and that it would be best to let the infant begin falling asleep on his or her own.
Would a caregiver’s use of the CIO approach at that point in the infant’s development be
85
considered “graduated failure of adaptation?” Perhaps. Ultimately, there are a myriad of lenses
through which to view a caregiver’s response to an infant’s sleep-related cries, and many
different conclusions to be drawn. Which perspective one assumes is largely based on that
person’s environment.
The Sociocultural Surround
One can present the argument that it is more favorable to let an infant CIO than to have
a sleep-deprived, resentful caregiver who is not be able to adequately respond to the infant
during the day. Or, it is more favorable to let an infant CIO so that the caregiver can perform
well at work the next day and financially provide for the family. These positions are absolutely
valid and highlight the necessity of considering the broader, sociocultural influences on the
caregiver/infant dyad.
There is a tremendous amount of research that demonstrates the impact of different
sociocultural identities on the caregiver/infant dyad. For example, a caregiver is more likely to
be invested in the infant if the caregiver has support from parents (Quinlan, Quinlan, & Flinn,
2003), alloparents (Borgerhoff Mulder, 1992), and non-biologically related males (Daly &
Wilson, 1997; Lancaster & Kaplan, 2000). A caregiver is also more likely to withdraw from her
infant if she is experiencing marital or financial difficulties, living in a high-risk environment
(Chrisholm & Coall, 2008), abusing substances, or has a mental illness (Soltis, 2004).
The way in which one responds to an infant’s sleep-related crying has much to do with
one’s cultural beliefs. Since Western cultures tend to valorize individualism, it follows that the
CIO strategy (which strives to achieve independent sleep) is most commonly recommended by
family and friends (Sears & Sears, 2003), parenting literature (Ramos & Youngclarke, 2006),
and pediatricians (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2012) in the United States. One study
86
found that many non-western caregivers engage in the practice of co-sleeping and believe “that
separate sleeping arrangements are unthinkable” (Rothbaum & Rusk, 2011, p. 107).
It is also important to acknowledge how much of the research informing psychoanalytic
and parenting literature does not consider the broader impact of different sociocultural identities.
Most studies narrowly focus on a specific population—Caucasian, western, upper-middle class,
mothers and their infants. Fathers, non-gender-conforming caregivers, grandparents, alloparents,
and other self-identified primary caregivers are largely excluded.
So, one can look at the specific phenomenon (how a caregiver’s response to an infant’s
sleep-related cries impacts the infant’s attachment and object relations) and develop sound
hypotheses based on the application of psychoanalytic theory. But one cannot isolate the
caregiver and infant from their environment; one cannot myopically examine the impact of a
certain caregiver response on the infant without a consideration of the numerous, complex
interactions between the infant and caregiver and between the dyad and their environment.
Doing so would be unrealistic. A consideration of the sociocultural environment that surrounds
the infant/caregiver dyad is necessary to evaluate how a caregiver’s response impacts the infant’s
psychological development.
Clinical Application
The theory synthesized thus far lends insight into clinical approaches to psychoanalytic
treatment with clients who have experienced early caregiver absence. When a person’s early
environment did not allow for self-reflexivity or the development of the self, a goal in treatment
is to re-experience previously dissociated states. Through the clinician’s provision of maternal
functions (holding, containing, attunement, object relations), the client can reconnect with her
87
True Self, integrate her fragmented being, and develop an intrapsychic understanding of self and
other.
A precondition for this work is the clinician’s ability to host the client’s projected states.
This allows the clinician to hold the client’s experience of internal and external caregiver
absence, and to acknowledge the impact it has had on the client. The enactment of caregiver
absence within the therapeutic relationship will revive the client’s dissociated emotional
reactions to the early caregiver’s absence, and provide an opportunity for healing. If the
clinician is specifically able to stay attuned to the patient’s experience of absences or
misattunements, the clinician brings good object to bad object experience. The client is then able
to integrate these dissociated experiences because they are being contained. This modifies the
experience of oneself as fragmented or flawed because meaning can be made of the experiences
and they can be reintegrated into the client’s conception of self. In order for this to happen, the
clinician needs to take responsibility for his or her own failures so the client can begin to
understand that she is not all bad or fundamentally flawed and can begin to develop object
constancy.
The enactment awakens within the clinician the experience of feeling weak, helpless, and
resourceless, which ignites the clinician’s own process of intrapsychic development. The
clinician must re-open her own annihilation anxieties and re-create a sense of confidence in how
to negotiate her own subjective vulnerabilities to external reality. The clinician must tolerate and
bare these anxieties in order for the client to use the clinician as a durable, enduring object
capable of surviving the client’s intrapsychic destruction (as discussed in the case analysis
above).
88
The therapeutic encounter that makes the absent present allows the client to feel her
emotional reaction to the early caregiver absence, and begin to mourn it. The intersubjective
experience between the clinician and client allows the client to “know and be known,” to achieve
intrapsychic separation, and to develop an integrated sense of self and other.
Limitations
Author Biases
This thesis is potentially biased by this writer’s own sociocultural identity and life
experiences, as they necessarily color one’s perspective of the world. As a White, married,
heterosexual female who grew up in the United States, I embody values that are consistent with
the individualistic, heterosexual norms that pervade Western cultures. This is most likely
reflected in the language I used throughout the thesis, and in the concepts I chose to include. I
am also a female of birthing age who plans to but does not have children. This potentially biases
the way in which I draw light upon certain parenting techniques. Perhaps if I had children, I
would approach the material from a different perspective.
Methodological Strengths and Limitations
The theoretical design of this thesis allows for a multi-faceted exploration of the
phenomenon from a perspective that is informed by multiple psychoanalytic theories as well as
cutting-edge empirical research. This approach creates space for creative reflection in such a
way that is not limited by the practical constraints of empirical research; and it opens
possibilities for future research opportunities. While the theoretical thesis methodology
embodies multiple strengths, it is constrained by what is realistic for a Master’s-level thesis. A
broader exploration of this topic from other perspectives, particularly trauma theory and
89
neuropsychological research, would allow for a deeper discussion of and further insights into the
impact of caregiver response to infant sleep-related crying.
Another significant limitation of this thesis resides in the heteronormative nature of the
literature presented. Both the theoretical and empirical literature to date, particularly the early
psychoanalytic theories, narrowly focuses on the role of the mother in respect to the
caregiver/infant dyad. In recent years, there has been a contemporary focus on primary
caregivers of all gender identities. A greater appreciation for this shift should be integrated into
future theoretical and empirical explorations.
Conclusion
Caregiver response to infant sleep-related crying is a complex and fascinating
phenomenon. There is much to be considered in terms of the intersubjective development of
both infant and caregiver, and the multi-faceted impact of the sociocultural surround. The
synthesis of the theoretical and research literature from attachment and object relations theories
underscores the importance of an attuned, predictable, available, and appropriately responsive
caregiver to facilitate the infant’s psychological development. It seems as though letting a baby
CIO, from a psychoanalytic perspective, is contraindicated due to potential for the infant to
experience emotional abandonment and stunted intrapsychic maturation. But a broader
consideration of the infant/caregiver relationship as a whole and the complex impact of the
environment opens a larger discussion about what is good-enough parenting.
Further insights into this phenomenon are to be gained from greater exploration into the
recent groundbreaking neuropsychological research about the impact of attachment and early
childhood experiences on brain development, as well as from other theoretical perspectives such
as trauma theory and perhaps ego or self psychologies. It is clear that there is a striking need for
90
greater research into the psychological impact of certain caregiving strategies on the infant,
specifically the CIO technique. That said, the research and theoretical perspectives reviewed
throughout this thesis do lend important insights into this phenomenon and provide various
clinical applications. Hopefully this discussion sparks exploration into this topic.
There does not appear to be a definitive answer to the question of whether a caregiver
should let his or her baby CIO. But most all of the material presented in this thesis supports that,
as long as the caregiver remains aware of her own internal processes, attuned to her infant, and
acts accordingly, her response will most likely be “good-enough.”
!
91
References
Adams, L. A., & Rickert, V. I. (1989). Reducing bedtime tantrums: Comparison between
positive routines and graduated extinction. Pediatrics, 84, 756-761.
Ainsworth, M. D., & Bell, S. M. (1977). Infant Crying and Maternal Responsiveness: A
Rejoinder to Gewirtz and Boyd. Child Development, 48(4), 1171-1190.
Ainsworth, M. D. S., Blehar, M. C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A
psychological study of the strange situation. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum
Associates.
American Academy of Pediatrics. (2012). Infant sleep training is effective and safe, study finds.
Retrieved from http://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/pages/Infant-
Sleep-Training-is-Effective-and-Safe-Study-Finds.aspx.
Barry, H., & Paxson, L.M. (1971). Infancy and early childhood: Cross-cultural codes. Ethnology
(10), 466-508.
Beebe, B. (2005). Mother-infant research informs mother-infant treatment. Psychoanalytic Study of
the Child, 60, 6-46.
Beebe, B., & Lachmann, F. (2014). The origins of attachment: Infant research and adult treatment.
New York, NY: Routledge.
Benjamin, J. (1995). Like Subjects, Love Objects: Essays on Recognition and Sexual Difference.
New Haven, CT: Yale University Press.
Bereczkei, T. (2001). Maternal trade-off in treating high-risk children. Evolution and Human
Behavior, 22, 197-212.
Blair, P., Fleming, P., Bensley, D., Sith, I., Bacon, C., Taylor, E., Berry, P., & Golding, J.
(1999). Where should babies sleep—alone or with parents? Factors influencing the risk
of SIDS in the CESDI Study. British Medical Journal, 319, 1457-1462.
92
Blatt, S. J., & Levy, K. N. (2003). Attachment theory, psychoanalysis, personality development,
and psychopathology. Psychoanalytic Inquiry, 23(1), 102-150.
doi:10.1080/07351692309349028
Borgerhoff Mulder, M. (1992). Reproductive decisions. In E. A. Smith, & B. Winterhalder
(Eds.), Evolutionary ecology and human behavior (pp. 339-374). New York, NY: Aldine
de Gruyter.
Bowlby, J. (1958). The Nature of the Child's Tie to his Mother. International Journal Of Psycho-
Analysis, 39, 350-373.
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss: Attachment (Vol. 1). New York, NY: Basic Books
Incorporated.
Bowlby, J. (1973). Attachment and loss: Separation: Anxiety and anger (Vol. 2). New York, NY:
Basic Books Incorporated.
Bowlby, J. (1977). The making and breaking of affectional bonds: I. Aetiology and psychopathology
in the light of attachment theory. The British Journal Of Psychiatry, 130,201-210.
doi:10.1192/bjp.130.3.201
Burnham, M. M., Goodlin–Jones, B. L., Gaylor, E. E., & Anders, T. F. (2002). Nighttime sleep–
wake patterns and self–soothing from birth to one year of age: a longitudinal intervention
study. Journal Of Child Psychology & Psychiatry & Allied Disciplines, 43(6), 713-725.
Carlson, E. A. (1998). A prospective longitudinal study of disorganized/disoriented attachment.
Child Development, 69, 1107-1128.
Carpenter, R., Irgens, L., Blair, P., England, P., Fleming, P., Huber, J., & Schreuder, P. (2004).
Sudden unexplained infant death in 20 regions in Europe: case control study. Lancet,
363(9404), 185-191.
93
Chrisholm, J. S., & Coall, D. A. (2008). Not by bread alone: The role of psychosocial stress in
age at first reproduction and health inequalities. In W. Trevanthan, E. O. Smith, & J. J.
McKenna (Eds.), Evolutionary ecology and human behavior (pp. 339-374). New York,
NY: Oxford University Press.
Daly, M., & Wilson, M. (1997). Child abuse and other risks of not living with both parents. In L.
Betzig (Ed.), Human nature: A critical reader (pp. 159-171). New York, NY: Oxford
University Press.
Davies, D. (2011). Child development: A practitioner's guide (3rd ed.). New York, NY: Guilford
Press.
Dozier, M., Stovall-McClough, K. C., & Albus, K. E. (2008). Attachment and Psychopathology in
Adulthood. In J. Cassidy & P. R. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment: Theory, research,
and clinical applications (pp. 718-744). New York, NY: The Guilford Press.
Dutra, L., & Lyons-Ruth, K. (2005). Maltreatment, maternal and child psychopathology, and quality
of early care as predictors of adolescent dissociation. Paper presented at the biennial meeting
of the Society for Research in Child Development, Atlanta, GA.
Erickson, M. F., Sroufe, L., & Egeland, B. (1985). The relationship between quality of
attachment and behavior problems in preschool in a high-risk sample. Monographs Of
The Society For Research In Child Development, 50(1-2), 147-166.
doi:10.2307/3333831.
Faruqui, F., Khubchandani, J., Price, J. H., Bolyard, D., & Reddy, R. (2011). Sleep disorders in
children: A national assessment of primary care pediatrician practices and perceptions.
Pediatrics, 128(3), 539-546. doi:10.1542/peds.2011-0344.
Ferber, R. (2006). Solve your child’s sleep problems (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Fireside.
94
Freud, S. (1957). Five lectures on psycho-analysis. In J. Strachey (Ed. & Trans.), The standard
edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 23, pp. 139-207).
London: Hogarth Press.
Gettler, L. T., & McKenna, J. J. (2011). Evolutionary perspectives on mother-infant sleep
proximity and breastfeeding in a laboratory setting. American Journal of Physical
Anthropology, 144, 454-462.
Greenberg, J. R., & Mitchell, S. A. (1983). Object relations in psychoanalytic theory.
Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Grossmann, K. E., Grossmann, K., & Waters, E. (2005). Attachment from infancy to adulthood: The
major longitudinal studies. New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Harlow, H. F. (1958). The nature of love. American Psychologist, 13, 673-685.
Heinicke, C. (1956). Some effects of separating two-year-old children from their parents: A
comparative study. Human Relations, 9, 105-176.
Heinicke, C. & Westheimer, I. (1966). Brief Separations. New York, NY: International
Universities Press.
Hiscock, H. H., & Wake, M. M. (2002). Randomised controlled trial of behavioural infant sleep
intervention to improve infant sleep and maternal mood. BMJ: British Medical Journal,
324(7345), 1062-1065. doi:10.1136/bmj.324.7345.1062
Holt, E. (1907). The care and feeding of children: A catechism for the use of mothers and
children’s nurses (4
th
ed.). New York, NY: D. Appleton and Company.
Jacobsen, T., Edelstein, W., & Hofmann, V. (1994). A longitudinal study of the relation between
representation of attachment in childhood and cognitive functioning in childhood and
adolescence. Developmental Psychology, 30, 112-124.
Klein, M. (1952). Envy and Gratitude. New York, NY: The Free Press.
95
Klinnert, M., Campos, J., Sorce, J., Emde, R., & Svejda, M. (1983). The development of social
referencing in infancy. In Plutchik, R., & Kellerman, H. (Eds.), Emotion: Theory,
research, and experience: Emotion in early development (Vol. 2). New York, NY:
Academic Press.
Lancaster, J., & Kaplan, H. (2000). Parenting other men’s children: Costs, benefits, and
consequences. In L. Cronk, N. Chagnon, & W. Irons (Eds.), Adaptation and human
behavior: An anthropological perspective (pp. 179-202). New York, NY: Aldine de
Gruyter.
Leeson, R., Barbour, J., Romaniuk, D., & Warr, R. (1994). Management of infant sleep
problems in a residential unit. Child Care Health Development, 20, 89-100.
Lorenz, K. E. (1935). Der kumpan in der umvelt des vogels. Journal of Ornithology, 83, 137-
213, 289-413.
Lyons-Ruth, K. (1991). Rapprochement or Approchement: Mahler’s Theory Reconsidered from
the Vantage Point of Recent Research on Early Attachment Relationships.
Psychoanalytic Psychology, 8(1), 1-23.
Lyons-Ruth, K., & Jacobvitz, D. (2008). Attachment disorganization: Genetic factors, parenting
contexts, and developmental transformation from infancy to adulthood. In J. Cassidy & P.
R. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment: Theory, research, and clinical applications
(pp. 666-697). New York, NY: The Guilford Press.
Main, M. (1973). Exploration, play and level of cognitive functioning as related to child-mother
attachment. (Unpublished doctoral dissertation). Johns Hopkins University, Baltimore,
MD.
96
Main, M. (1977). Analysis of a peculiar form of reunion behavior seen in some daycare
children: Its history and sequelae in children who are home-reared. In R. Webb (Ed.),
Social development in daycare. Baltimore, MD: John Hopkins University Press.
Main, M. (1981). Avoidance in the service of attachment: A working paper. In K. Immelmann,
G. Barlow, M. Main, & L. Petrinovich (Eds.), Behavioral development: The Bielfield
Interdisciplinary Project (pp. 651-693). New York, NY: Cambridge University Press.
Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1987). Discovery of an insecure disorganized/disoriented attachment
pattern: procedures, findings and implications for the classification of behaviour. In M.
Yogman & T. B. Brazelton (Eds.), Affective Development in Infancy (pp. 95-124).
Norwood, NJ: Ablex Publishing.
Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1990). Procedures for identifying infants as disorganized/disoriented
during the Ainsworth Strange Situation. In M. T. Greenberg, D. Cicchetti, & E. M.
Cummings (Eds.), Attachment in the preschool years: Theory, research, and intervention
(pp. 121-160). Chicago, IL: University of Chicago Press.
Main, M. & Hesse, E. (1991). The insecure disorganized/disoriented attachment pattern in
infancy: precursors and Sequelae. In M. Greenberg, P. Cicchetti, & E. M. Cummings
(Eds.), Attachment in the Preschool Years: Theory, Research and Intervention. Chicago,
IL: University Chicago Press.
Mahler, M. S. (1971). A study of the separation-individuation process: And its possible
application to borderline phenomena in the psychoanalytic situation. Psychoanalytic
Study of the Child, 26, 403-424.
Mahler, M.S., & La Perriere, K. (1965). Mother-child interaction during separation-
individuation. Psychoanalytic Quarterly, 34, 483-498.
97
Mahler, M., & McDevitt, J. (1980). The separation-individuation process and identity formation.
In S.I. Greenspan & G.H. Pollack (Eds.), The course of life: Infancy (Vol. 1), (pp. 407-
423). Washington DC: US Department of Health and Human Services.
Mahler, M.S., Pine, F., & Bergman, A. (1975). The psychological birth of the human
infant. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Mitchell, S. A. & Black, M. J. (1995). Freud and beyond: A history of modern psychoanalytic
thought. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Mitchell, E. A., & Thompson, J. M. D. (1994). Maternal sleep and arousals during bedsharing
with infants. Sleep, 20, 142-150.
McKenna, J. J. (2006). Assessing tradeoffs between potential benefits and risks of increased
nighttime contact between mothers and infants. Paediatrics and Child Health (11), 49a-
49b.
McKenna, J. J., Ball, H. L., & Gettler, L. T. (2007). Mother-infant co-sleeping, breastfeeding and
sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS): What biological anthropology has discovered
about normal infant sleep and pediatric sleep medicine. American Journal of Physical
Anthropology, 50, 133-161.
Moore, T., & Ucko, L. E. (1957). Night Waking in Early Infancy. Archives of Disease in
Childhood, 32, 333-342.
Moss, E., Rousseau, D., Parent, S., St.-Laurent, D., & Saintonge, J. (1998). Correlates of
attachment at school age: Maternal reported stress, mother-child interaction, and behavior
problems. Child Development, 69, 1390-1405.
Moss, E., & St.-Laurent, D. (2001). Attachment at school age and academic performance.
Developmental Psychology, 37, 863-874.
98
Moss, E., St.-Laurent, D., & Parent, S. (1999). Disorganized attachment and developmental risk
at school age. In J. Solomon & C. George (Eds.), Attachment disorganization (pp. 160-
187). New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Nagera, N. (1966). Sleep and its disturbances approached developmentally. Psychoanalytic Study
of the Child, 21, 393-438.
Quinlan, R. J., Quinlan, M. B., & Flinn, M. V. (2003). Parental investment and age at weaning in
a Caribbean village. Evolution and Human Behavior, 24, 1-16.
Ramos, K., & Youngclarke, D. (2006). Parenting advice books about child sleep: Cosleeping and
crying it out. Sleep, 29(12), 1616-1623.
Reid, M., Walter, A. L., & O'Leary, S. G. (1999). Treatment of young children's bedtime refusal
and nighttime wakings: A comparison of 'standard' and graduated ignoring procedures.
Journal Of Abnormal Child Psychology, 27(1), 5-16. doi:10.1023/A:1022606206076.
Rothbaum, F., & Rusk, N. (2011). Pathways to emotional regulation: Cultural differences in
internalization. In X. Chen & K. Rubin (Eds .), Socioemotional development in cultural
context (pp. 99 - 127). New York: The Guilford Press.
Sears, W., & Sears, M. (2003). The baby book: Everything you need to know about your
baby from birth to age two. New York, NY: Little, Brown and Company.
Soltis, J. (2004). The signal functions of early infant crying. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 27,
443-490.
Sroufe, A. L. (2005). Attachment and development: A prospective, longitudinal study from birth
to adulthood. Attachment & Human Development, 7(4), 349-367.
Sroufe, L. A., Egeland, B., Carlson, E., & Collins, W. A. (2005). The development of the person: The
Minnesota Study of Risk and Adaptation from Birth to Adulthood. New York, NY: Guilford
Press.
99
Stern, D. N. (1985). The interpersonal world of the infant: A view from psychoanalysis &
developmental psychology. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Tronick, E. Z. (1980). On the primacy of social skills. In D. B. Sawin, L. O. Walker, & J. H.
Penticuff (Eds.), The exceptional infant. Psychosocial risks in infant environment
transactions (pp. 144-158). New York, NY: Brunner/Mazel.
Tronick, E. Z. (1989). Emotions and emotional communication in infants. American
Psychologist, 44(2), 112-119. doi:10.1037/0003-066X.44.2.112
Ucko, L. E. (1965). A comparative study of asphyxiated and non-asphyxiated boys from birth to
five years. Developmental Medicine & Child Neurology, 7(6), 643-657.
doi:10.1111/j.1469-8749.1965.tb07841.x.
Vennemann, M., Bajanowski, T., Jorch, G., & Mitchell, E. (2009). Does breastfeeding reduce the
risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome? Pediatrics, 123, 406-410.
Weinfeld, N. S., Whaley, G. J. L., & Egeland, B. (2004). Continuity, discontinuity, and
coherence in attachment from infancy to late adolescence: Sequelae of organization and
disorganization. Attachment & Human Development, 6(1), 73-97.
Winnicott, D. W. (1949). Hate in the Counter-Transference. International Journal Of Psycho-
Analysis, 30, 69-74.
Winnicott, D. W. (1951). Transitional objects and transitional phenomena. In D. W. Winnicott,
Through paediatrics to psycho-analysis: Collected Papers (pp. 229-242). New York,
NY: Basic Books.
Winnicott, D. W. (1960). Ego distortion in terms of true and false self. In The Maturational
Processes and the Facilitating Environment (pp. 140-152). New York, NY: International
University Press.
100
Winnicott, D. W. (1969). The use of the object and relating through identifications. In Playing
and reality (pp. 86-94). New York, NY: Basic Books.
Wolff , P. (1969). The natural history of crying and other vocalizations in early infants. In B. M.
Foss (ed.), Determinants of Infant Behavior (Vol. 2), (pp. 81-109). London: Methuen.